


The Wests

by ficdirectory



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brain Injury, Cerebral Palsy, Emotional Abuse, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Minor Character Death, Parent-Child Relationship, Protective Siblings, Stay Alive Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21838261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficdirectory/pseuds/ficdirectory
Summary: What if Paris was able to escape with Pearl when she was little, and they started again, together? What would have been different?  What would have stayed the same?  (An AU take on West family events in the Disuphere Universe.)
Comments: 60
Kudos: 2





	1. The Quiet Game

**1987:**

It’s been just over a week since two paramedics saved that baby in Texas. 

Something about it has galvanized Paris. Seeing Carla camped out on the couch with snacks watching the baby’s suffering like it was a damn show let him know that he can’t keep subjecting Pearl to this woman. Her energy.

They’re down an end table lamp because Carla shattered it, in a rage over Paris calling her out about where all his money’s ending up. The only saving grace had been that Pearl was playing at the neighbor’s. Took him three rounds with the vacuum cleaner to get all the pieces. Several hours later, he found a piece he’d missed, embedded in his foot. His sole, streaming blood.

Carla had helped him fix it up. She’d been sweet. Attentive. Gentle. Leaving Paris confused as ever.

And tonight, he came home to Carla screaming at Pearl for spilling her milk on the carpet. To little Pearl, shaking in terror as she tried to clean the mess.

Pearl ran to him, clinging to him, sobbing that she was sorry.

He reassured her, and took over cleaning the mess, which only made Carla madder.

“You’re spoiling her!” Carla snaps as Paris comforts Pearl.

“And you’re terrorizing her,” he responds calmly. “She’s four years old, Carla. She’s a kid. Kids spill.”

“She was messing around, Paris! You weren’t even here, and of course, you’d take her side,” Carla seethes. She throws a dishrag forcefully into the sink. “I’ve got to go to work.”

Paris tries not to scoff. Carla’s got a hair salon she runs out of their downstairs. One chair. One client at a time.

She’ll be busy for 45 minutes to an hour and a half.

A glance at her appointment book shows she’s got a color, not just a haircut. Good. 

Paris has a bag packed in the car, and thank God, some money in the bank. He’d taken Carla’s name off the account, which made her furious, but he had to know she couldn’t touch it. Had to know he and Pearl would have some means to survive.

Paris had to tell the chief what was going on at home. He was surprisingly supportive. The single female firefighter in the place - Georgia - had offered him tips on DV: having the go-bag ready in the trunk, the money in a place it can’t be touched, for example. He’d even found a good lawyer. Filed for divorce. 

“Okay,” Paris tells Pearl, in a whisper. She’s been sitting, quiet as a church mouse on the couch, while he gathers his notebook, shoes and jackets for himself and Pearl. “We gotta play The Quiet Game now. You remember how?” he asks.

Pearl is an expert at The Quiet Game. She mimes zipping her lips, even turning a key, and tossing the key over her shoulder.

Paris nods. “So, the winner of the game,” he whispers, “gets to go on a great big adventure with me.”

Pearl’s eyes get wide, and she smiles, but her lips stay firmly closed. She bounces on the couch.

“So we gotta get our coats on, and our shoes on, as quiet as we can,” Paris explains.

He helps her with her jacket, even sliding her feet into her pink and white shoes without undoing the Velcro. Then he takes her hand. When they’re just about out the door, he asks, “Where’s Grumpy?” in a whisper.

Determined to win, Pearl points outside and mimes driving a car. Then, he remembers. Bringing her home from school yesterday, Pearl had left the Care Bear in the back seat because he “liked looking out the window.”

Paris flashes her a thumbs up and eases the door closed behind them.

Then, he gets her settled in the car seat, puts Grumpy in her arms, and gets behind the wheel. “The Quiet Game’s over, honey. You did real good,” he praises.

Pearl lets out a breath, as if she’s been holding it the entire time. She beams. “Did I win, Daddy? Do I get to go on the big adventure with you?”

“You sure did win. And we’re starting our adventure right now. You got Grumpy?”

“Yup!” Pearl says, holding the bear up by one arm.

“Okay. Hold onto him. He’s not gonna wanna miss this…” Paris says, exuding a confidence he doesn’t feel at all.

But that’s what being a parent is all about.


	2. The Firehouse

**1987:**

“How would you like to sleep at the firehouse with me tonight?” Daddy asks.

Pearl scrunches up her face. “I don’t want the fires to get me.”

“No, honey. The fires won’t get you. It’s called the firehouse, because that’s where all the firemen and women are. Close to our firetrucks so we can go quickly to help put out fires at other people’s houses.”

“You have beds there?” Pearl asks.

“You bet,” Daddy says.

“And we can sleep over in one?” she asks.

“That’s right,” he nods.

“I think Mom might be mad at me, a really lot,” Pearl admits.

“I’m sorry she scared you, honey. I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” Daddy says. “But we don’t have to worry about Mommy right now. Here we are.”

The car stops around the side of a big building, but not a house.

Daddy carries her, and two bags, and Pearl carries Grumpy.

He says hi to all the people inside of the building. There’s a giant pole in the middle of the room and it goes through the floor down, down, down.

Pearl reaches for it. “I wanna try that!”

“This here is a very special pole. For firefighters to slide down in a hurry, to go help people as fast as we can,” Daddy explains. “Not a toy.”

Pearl frowns. She does really want to slide on that pole. But she’s thinking about the sliding part to be fast. “Is that because stairs are too steppy?”

“That’s right, and we don’t have time for lots of steps when people are in danger,” Daddy says.

“Only for the quickest sliding,” Pearl nods.

“Right,” Daddy says. He finally finds the room with the beds. He tucks her right into one with him. It has a scratchy blanket not like her real one with Sesame Street on.

“Where’s my blanket, Daddy?” Pearl asks, after she’s all changed in a nighty.

“Sorry, Pearl, Daddy only had time to grab the essentials - the stuff we really need. Understand?”

“But my blanket  _ is _ a sential!” Pearl says and her chin trembles. “We need to go back and get it! Please, Daddy…”

“I hear you really want your blanket from home. But we can’t go back. Understand? It’s you and me and the great adventure. Remember?”

“Without our blankets…” Pearl says, in a soft broken way.

“We’ll have us blankets. We’ll have lots of blankets, honey. You’ll see. It just might take us some time to get all the things that go in a house again.”

“The firehouse?” Pearl asks.

“No. A new one. Someday, you and I are gonna have a brand new place to live. But that takes time. So for now, we’re staying here, until --”

“‘Til you can find blankets,” Pearl nods seriously.

“Right. I promise, I’ll find you a blanket,” Daddy says, giving her a kiss. “The most important thing is, we’re safe. I’ve got you and you’ve got me. Right?”

“Right,” she yawns. “And Grumpy…”

“Of course,” Daddy nods. “We can’t forget Grumpy.”

Then he tucks her into bed and lies down next to her, telling her the story of the day she was born into this world. How her name came half from Mommy, who thought because she was so little and precious like a pearl on a necklace, that would be a good name. And Evangeline from Daddy, because of his great grandma who took care of him when he was a little boy.

It’s hard to fall asleep. Pearl wants to go home and get all the things she didn’t get to bring. But Daddy promises they can always get more things.

They can’t get more Daddies. Or more Pearls.

The humans are the most important ones to be safe.

She falls asleep holding Daddy’s hand in both of hers - cuddled together.

He’s her real safety - and Pearl will protect him with all her might.


	3. Karen Brewer

**1990:**

Paris can hardly believe it’s been three years since he and Pearl left Carla.

It’s been a hell of a three years. Paris has been in and out of family court, fighting for sole custody of Pearl. And he’s finally gotten it - but at a price.

In the meantime, Pearl’s had to keep on visiting Carla on weekends, and had to come back in a state of distress over and over before the damn courts would do a thing.

Now, she’s seven years old and knows she doesn’t ever have to visit her mom again, if she doesn’t want. But Paris wonders if all this came too late. If the damage to his little girl wasn’t too great.

“Okay, Daddy, close your eyes,” Pearl calls. “I have a surprise for you.”

“You do?” Paris asks, smiling. “Alright. My eyes are closed.”

“Ta-da!” Pearl says, and Paris turns from the sink where he’s washing dishes. Pearl’s dressed as her favorite book character, Karen Brewer.

Blue jeans, a blue shirt with some cats along the bottom and her real cute blue-framed glasses. She’s got white tennis shoes on and her hair is swept to the side in a ponytail with a blue scrunchie.

Paris helped her with her hair. Well, sorta. Honestly, it’s taken an honest-to-God visit from Lonnie for him to get the hang of doing Pearl’s hair. But they’ve managed it, and Pearl’s proud of it. She likes how she looks.

“You look great, honey. The spitting image,” Paris grins, hugging her.

Pearl wrinkles her nose. “That doesn’t mean you have to spit on me, does it?”

“No,” Paris reassures. “It means, you look just like Karen.”

Pearl sighs. “I know I don’t, though. None of the kids in my class for the Halloween party are even gonna know I’m dressed up.” She sits down at the table, her mood plummeting.

“You don’t think so?” Paris asks.

“I know so,” Pearl nods, sad. “Karen has blonde hair. She’s white. Whenever we play BSC at school, everybody makes me be Jessi, but I don’t wanna be her. I’m not even a ballet dancer. I’m seven. I’m curious, like Karen, Daddy.”

“I know. You sure are. Do you wanna bring your copy of  _ Karen’s Witch _ along?” Paris asks.

“I don’t know. That might just be like a giant arrow saying how much I don’t match her… Maybe I shouldn’t even dress up for the Halloween party, Daddy.”

“I’m gonna tell you something. It’s up to you, if you wanna dress up or not. You can’t control what other kids say to you. You can only control how you respond. You don’t have to only be the Black character, honey. That’s how change happens. Somebody thinks,  _ “What if Karen Brewer was like me?”  _ Or,  _ “I sure like Karen Brewer, and I wanna dress up like her,” _ and then, they’re brave enough to do it.”

“I’m not sure I  _ am _ brave enough, Daddy,” Pearl laments. “I might just be a big chicken…”

“You’re not a chicken. You come from a long line of strong, brave people,” Paris reassures. “But whatever you decide, I’ll support you.”

“What do you think?” Pearl asks. “Do you think I should dress up?” By now, she’s sidled up to him on the couch and is pressed into his side.

“I think...you sounded real excited about it...until you thought about how other people might react.” Paris observes.

“From Mom,” Pearl nods.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but that does sound like something Mom worried about a lot,” Paris confirms. “But you are not your mom. And you don’t exist for other people. You exist for you. That means, if you wanna be Karen, well, then, doggone it, you should be Karen.”

“Maybe I need a nametag…” Pearl muses. “One that says  _ Karen Brewer _ right on it…”

“I think I can help you out with that,” Paris offers. He goes to the kitchen and finds leftover HELLO, MY NAME IS stickers from some work event.

Pearl gets down off the couch and carefully prints: _Karen Brewer_ in the empty space.

“Save this for my class party Friday. And Halloween next week, okay?” Pearl asks.

“You got it,” Paris nods. “So proud of you, honey.”

“Thanks…” Pearl smiles shyly.

Paris hugs her tight. He’s determined that Pearl is going to have a childhood. She’s had to grow up far too fast already.

\--

On Halloween night, Pearl pretends hard that she’s Karen for real. But it’s hard, because Karen is so outgoing. Pearl is shy. (Also, Karen would probably dress like a witch or something.)

Eventually, she just ends up sharing all about why she likes Karen, and Daddy listens.

“Karen’s daddy has a bunch of money. ‘Cause he’s rich. He even lives in a mansion. That’s one way we’re not alike. But one way we are alike? Is that her parents are divorced and you and Mom are divorced. She says she’s Karen Two-Two because she has two of everything.”

“Do you wish you had two of everything?” Daddy asks as they walk from house to house.

Pearl thinks about this. “Maybe...like...if it meant double the presents...or cake or something...but I didn’t really like having to go back and forth. I’m happier just with you. I missed you when I had to be with her.”

“And I missed you,” Daddy says, squeezing her hand.

“Ooh, can I go ring the bell?” Pearl asks.

“Go on,” he urges, standing beside her.

A woman answers the door, not dressed up, but holding a giant candy bowl. Pearl feels like she could know her maybe, but she’s too excited when she sees all the candy to think about where they might’ve seen each other. The lady smiles wide when she sees Pearl.

“Karen Brewer! What did I do right to have Karen Brewer right here on my very own doorstep?” the lady says.

Pearl’s mouth drops open wide, and she beams.

“Daddy, she knows I’m Karen!” Pearl squeals.

“See? Didn’t I tell you? The spitting image…” Daddy grins and winks.

“Good to see you, Paris,” the lady says as Pearl tests the weight of her candy bucket.

“You, too, Nia. See you Sunday,” Daddy says.

They leave, and go to so many more houses, Daddy ends up carrying Pearl because she’s too tired. He takes her home and checks all of her candy to be sure it’s safe.

Pearl can feel him taking off her Karen glasses and her shoes. Pulling up the blanket over her. Even though she’s a little old for Sesame Street things, Daddy had found her the very same comforter.

Just like he promised.


	4. Church

**1993:**

Pearl would much rather sleep in late than go to church on Sundays, and Dad says she’s still too young to stay on her own - even though she’s ten now - and started sixth grade a year early, besides. What Pearl’s saying is, she doesn’t have much choice. She has to get dressed up and show up at church whether she wants to or not.

She puts on a black dress with pink flowers on the collar and skirt. Dad does her hair - he’s kinda an expert now - thank goodness. Then, she eats a bowl of Froot Loops and a glass of milk and Dad hustles her to brush her teeth and get out to the car.

At least there’s donuts after church. (That’s the only good thing about it.) The singing is pretty okay, too, she guesses. At least it doesn’t matter that she and Dad are not the best singers in the world. It just matters that they’re joyful and they mean what they’re singing. And Pearl does.

But that doesn’t mean she’s gotta be happy about it. Dad even says. “How old do I have to be before I can make my own choices and stay home alone if I want?”

“Uh…” Dad says, concentrating on the road. “Older than ten…”

“You’re just making that up,” Pearl accuses.

“I suppose I am...but I don’t have much to go on here, honey. You’re the only ten-year-old I know, and you seem young to be on your own.”

Pearl goes quiet looking out the window. “Church is so boring, though…” she complains after a minute, not able to hold it in.

“You know something?” Dad asks.

“What?” Pearl grumbles.

“When I was your age, I felt the same exact way. But aunt Lonnie, she said it was important that we go to church...because they helped us when we really needed it.”

“So, we have to go to church or else you’ll have a guilty conscience?” Pearl asks honestly.

“Not exactly…” Dad responds. “It’s not about feeling guilty… It’s about showing up for people. We might be tired. And some Sundays, maybe we really can’t make it there, and God understands those times. But when we can go? It’s important that we try. Because there might be somebody there who we can help...like we were helped. Understand?”

“Sort of,” Pearl admits. “But Daddy...if you really hated going to church as much as I do, why would you torture your kid like Lonnie tortured you?” she sends him a little smile. She’s feeling better.

“I don’t believe in hurting my kids. Lonnie didn’t either, even though I’m not her kid. The things parents do for their kids--

“--Most parents--” Pearl interjects, remembering Mom.

“Right. The things most parents do for their kids, or insist their kids are a part of? It’s for the child’s good. To teach them something. Or instill a value.”

“Like, how it’s good to be there in case people need your help?” Pearl asks.

“Right,” Dad nods.

They pull into the parking lot. And like usual, there’s Miss Nia, right at the door handing out programs.

Pearl takes one. She always wants to know what songs they’ll be singing. 

Dad taps her shoulder, a reminder. 

“Morning, Miss Nia,” Pearl greets, tearing her eyes away from the paper.

“Morning, Pearl,” Miss Nia smiles. She drops her voice and whispers so only Pearl can hear. “I brought the donuts myself. They’ll be all set out here when church is over. And I set aside your favorite, so it doesn’t get eaten.” Her eyes sparkle.

Pearl smiles a little. Miss Nia is pretty cool. She was the only adult who recognized she was Karen Brewer back in third grade. “Chocolate frosted?” Pearl checks. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Miss Nia confirms, nodding.

“Thank you,” Pearl beams now, throwing her arms around Miss Nia.

“Go on ahead, honey. Find us a spot,” Dad urges, and Pearl pretends to walk into the sanctuary, but then doubles back, hiding out behind a plant and watching Dad talk to Miss Nia.

It makes Pearl weirdly jealous that Dad’s talking to Miss Nia. For as long as Pearl can remember, it’s been just her and Dad. Just the two of them, out on this adventure called life, just like Dad always says. It feels like, with Dad talking to Miss Nia, that things might change.

Pearl just doesn’t know how to imagine a life that has someone else in - and a mom-figure besides. Her history with moms isn’t the best. How could she trust that Miss Nia wouldn’t end up just exactly like her own Mom was - terrible?

Dad laughs at something Miss Nia says and Pearl frowns, crunching the edge of the program in her hands. She’s thinking about slipping downstairs by the kitchens to check out the donuts - and maybe scope out where Miss Nia hid the chocolate frosted one for Pearl - when Dad finally walks in, looking for her.

“Boo!” Pearl says, jumping out from behind the plant.

Dad looks startled, but then extends a hand to her. They walk in together. There’s still time before things start officially.

There’s no way to get comfortable on the wooden pews. The only kind of interesting thing here is the hymnals. Pearl likes to flip through them and try to read the music - even though the most she can tell is whether the notes go up or down.

Pearl cranes her neck around to see Miss Nia come in. Dad waves her over to sit with them.

“Dad… She’s not gonna be your wife, is she?” Pearl whispers.

“Not right now,” Dad reassures, squeezing her hand. “How many times do I have to say that we’re just friends?”

Pearl shrugs. Then she moves to stand between Dad and Miss Nia. It’s partly for jealous reasons, and partly because Miss Nia has the most beautiful singing voice and Pearl loves to hear it. 

Miss Nia doesn’t even seem mad. Dad doesn’t either. 

Dad holds her hand.

Miss Nia puts an arm around Pearl and Pearl leans into her. Listening to all the notes fall down around her, like a beautiful musical rain.


	5. The Move

**1996:**

“Dad…” Pearl asks, nervous. She’s been nervous ever since they took off. It’s been a long drive - fourteen hours by car - but there’s no one he’d rather take it with. “I’m glad we’re moving and all...Like...I’m really glad we get to be closer to aunt Lonnie...just…”

“What’s on your mind?” Paris asks, focused on the road, but one ear cocked to listen for Pearl - it’s been this way her whole life.

“I just...don’t know if the kids will like me…” Pearl admits. “Everybody in Brainerd just called me a know-it-all. Teacher’s pet. And worse. But you said it yourself...I can’t help that I’m smart.”

“Right,” Paris nods. “And you shouldn’t need to dial yourself down for other people. ‘Cause someday, you are gonna meet people who love you just the way you are. You’ll learn to hold onto those people. ‘Cause they’re special.”

“Are you talking about Miss Nia?” Pearl asks softly. “Are you sad to leave her?”

“I am,” Paris answers.

“I like us just the way we are...but I do want you to be happy. I wish there was a way to have both…” Pearl sighs.

“Even grown folks need people, honey. And you are definitely one of mine. My most important person. But people need more than just one person. We need community. Connection,” Paris explains.

“I’m glad I’m your most important person...sorry if that’s selfish, but I am. So, that’s why we’re moving? To be even closer to aunt Lonnie? So we’ll have more people?”

“Right, you are,” Paris nods. “You know, even if I marry again someday - that don’t mean I’ll have less love for you. The heart grows, Pearl.”

There’s a while where it’s silent. Paris drives and Pearl listens to the radio:  _ Because You Loved Me _ ,  _ Killing Me Softly _ ,  _ If It Makes You Happy _ ...

They stop at a gas station in the middle of the night for the restroom and snacks. Once they’re on the road again (and Pearl has urged him to stop singing about it, with a laugh) she speaks up.

“I guess...I wouldn’t mind if you got married again someday. I just… I’m not sure I’m ready for that right now. You know? I’m only thirteen. And I know, like, in my head...what you’re saying. That even if you fall in love again, you’ll still love me just as much...but I don’t get it in my heart… Maybe because my heart hasn’t had to grow yet...so I don’t know what that’s like…”

Paris just listens, fascinated - awe-struck by his little girl, growing up so well. She’s so articulate sometimes he does forget that she’s just barely a teenager. She’s still gangly, with a mouth full of braces and glasses, to boot. 

“Well, I’m not getting married tomorrow, honey. Or anytime soon,” Paris promises.

“Good,” Pearl settles down against the window, trying to sleep.

“If I ever plan to--” Paris adds.

“--I’ll know?” Pearl interjects.

“Oh, you’ll know…” Paris nods. “Hold on, I gotta do something here,” he says, focusing on the horizon in front of them, where the sun’s just starting to appear over the horizon. He can feel Pearl not sleeping yet, but watching him. “There we go…” he says.

In the morning light, Pearl looks at him and smiles a little. She settles against the car window and sleeps a while.

When she wakes up they’re nearly there. She blinks at him in the brilliant daylight. 

“If you _ did _ get married, though? Could I make a request?” Pearl asks, shy.

“Well, honey. Ultimately, it is my choice who I marry, but I do value your input. So you can make a suggestion.”

“A suggestion, yes,” Pearl nods. She takes a deep breath. “If you do get married...someday in the way far future, like...after I graduate high school? ... _ Could _ it be Miss Nia?” she asks, shyly.

“Honey, there’s no one else it could be,” Paris admits, a small smile on his lips.

“Good,” Pearl lets out a breath, relaxing against the seat. “I really like her, Dad.”

“So do I,” he says.


	6. The Ride

**1999:**

Pearl can hardly believe she’s almost seventeen. Or that she’ll be graduating in just a month and a bit. It’s strange, thinking that she’s this old, when all her life, she’s thought...well...this was old.

She and Dad have settled in well in Denver. She likes her school. Her classmates aren’t better than Brainerd, but they aren’t worse, either. So there’s that. She also found out (the end of March) that she’s going to be the valedictorian this year. So, she’s been working on her speech in all her free time.

What free time? What time she does have is dedicated to studying. She’s gotten a job to have a little spending money. The local grocery store hires sixteen-year-olds and she’s been on as a cashier since last summer when she had her birthday.

“Hey, Pearl,” Jared says, walking up to her before their shifts begin.

“Hey,” Pearl says back, feeling awkward. She has never known how to talk to guys and Jared seems to have taken a shine to her (as Dad says) in the last few weeks. He’s older. Nineteen. She remembers him graduating last year. They both attended DSHS.

Truth be told, Jared’s not exactly her type. Pearl has no idea what her type is, but she is driven, plans to go to college, and...just...do stuff. Jared doesn’t seem particularly motivated to do anything. He regularly dates employees and gets in trouble for not focusing on his job. She's heard rumors about him from other employees. How he doesn't take no. Pearl knows getting involved with him would mean bad news.

(But, God, he's cute...)

“So...this is really embarrassing, but my car is barely running. I just got here, you know, and I’m pretty sure it’s about to die. My dad told me not to drive it, but, whatever, you know?” Jared says.

“Yeah,” Pearl giggles.

“Anyway, I saw we’re off at around the same time… Do you think I could get a ride home? I live just...like...a mile from here. And I’d owe you one.”

“Hold on,” Pearl says, and checks the time. Still seven minutes before her shift officially begins. She steps into the break room to use her only-for-emergencies-cell-phone to call Dad. He insists she tell him any changes in plans...and he’s off tonight...so he’ll say there’s no excuse for not calling.

“Hey, Dad?” she says, as soon as he picks up. “I’m just letting you know...I’m giving a coworker a ride home after work.”

“Which coworker?” Dad asks.

“Come on, Dad, it’s no big deal…” Pearl insists.

“If it’s no big deal, you should be able to tell me,” he reasons.

She scoffs, irritated. “Fine. His name is Jared. He graduated last year. He said his car basically died as soon as he got to work today.”

“Absolutely not. If his car’s really busted, I can give him a ride myself. But you are not about to…” Dad warns.

“Seriously?” Pearl asks. “I have to say no?  _ You _ try saying no to this guy, Dad. Looking like  _ me _ .”

“Blame me, then. Tell him the truth. Your dad said no. Are you done at 9:45?” he checks.

“Yeah,” she mumbles.

“Alright. I’ll be there,” he promises.

“Dad!” she exclaims, embarrassed. “If you show up here, everybody’s gonna think I’m a baby!”

“Or they’ll think that you keep your word even if your dad ruins your life…” he points out. “I love you, honey. Have a good night. Be safe.”

“You’re really coming?” Pearl asks, in a whisper.

“Yes. Do not get in a car with this man. Don’t leave with him. Wait in the store, around people.”

“Okay…” she says, “Dad, I really have to go. ...But thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dad answers and they hang up.

\--

At 9:44 PM, Jared’s hanging all over her lane, being extra helpful. He’s even sent customers her way, telling them that she’s the best bagger they have.

And Pearl’s majorly confused. Because part of her is flattered...and another part of her is nervous. Dad seemed concerned about this. Like, way extra concerned. And even if Pearl doesn’t have any intuition to speak of, she trusts her dad’s.

Her digital watch flips to 9:45 PM and Pearl turns off her lane light.

“So, you ready to go?” Jared asks, the minute she comes out of the employee doors, to clock out.

“Actually, I can’t… My Dad… He’s super old-school, and he won’t allow it. But he offered to give you a ride home.”

“He’s coming here?” Jared asks, casting a look over his shoulder.

“Yeah...I told him you needed a ride...so…” she shrugs.

“So…” he leans in, trapping her against the wall. “Let’s ditch him. Just you and me. Come on. You’ve had your license for most of a year. Trust me, I remember, you’ve never shut up about it.”

Pearl’s heart pounds and she realizes that the abandoned hall at the back of the store by the time clock is not exactly what Dad meant by staying in a public place.

“Shoot. I forgot my sweater,” she says, the lie sliding out of her mouth. She uses her shortness to her advantage, ducking under Jared’s arm and making her way back to her register.

Jared’s right on her heels. “Come on…” he’s begging her, the very definition of peer pressure. (“ _ Come on, take these drugs, it’ll be fun… _ ”) “Let’s just lose your old man. Take a ride with me…”

Pearl finds her sweater, and is running out of excuses to stay where she is. She’s trapped in his green eyes. His smile. 

Even though she feels the nerves still alive within her at the prospect of leaving with Jared, there is a part of her that craves adventure. The part of her who knows that - unmotivated or not - Jared is seriously attractive. And a guy like him does not look twice at a girl like her.

“Jared, is it?” 

All the tension inside Pearl evaporates - along with every hope of ever being noticed by a cute boy ever again - as Dad speaks.

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “What’s it to you?”

Pearl holds her breath.

“Pearl mentioned you needed a ride,” Dad says, amiable, as he walks over and drapes a protective arm around her. Pearl leans into him.

“Forget it,” Jared scoffs, leaving in a huff.

Pearl is totally confused. It takes until she’s safely in the car with Dad and they’re driving home, for the pieces to slide into place.

“He didn’t really need a ride…” Pearl realizes softly.

“No,” Dad answers, equally quiet.

“He just wanted to…” she ventures, unable to finish the thought.

“Yes,” Dad confirms. 

“Dad, I’m so sorry… I’m sorry I’m so stupid. I just thought he liked me…”

In the driver’s seat, Dad’s quiet. He pulls into the driveway. They walk inside together. She sits at the kitchen table while he fixes them cups of hot cocoa.

“When you were with Jared…” Dad says, sitting down. “How did you feel?”

“I don’t know…” Pearl mumbles. “I don’t wanna talk about it, Dad. I already know I was wrong.”

“And I’m not about making you feel bad about yourself right now. I’m trying to tell you something else. Will you let me try?” Dad asks.

“I guess…” Pearl admits. “And...I guess I felt nervous...but flattered, too? I wanted to know what it was like to be spontaneous. ...Am I a horrible person? For wanting to go with him? For feeling flattered, even if I knew his game?”

“You’re only human, Pearl. We crave connection. We all do,” he pauses. “You mentioned being nervous about telling him no, on the phone? Why’s that?” Dad asks.

“You wouldn’t get it. You’re a man,” Pearl maintains.

“Try me,” Dad invites.

“He doesn’t listen when girls say no, Dad. Not ever. He’s cute and he knows it. He uses it. Nobody really wants to be his girlfriend, but he doesn’t give them a chance to refuse him.” Pearl explains. “I’m just another girl to him, Dad. I don’t matter.”

“And that’s the thing you gotta try to keep straight, even with all the hormones and things…” Dad says.

Pearl very nearly spits out her hot cocoa. “Dad!”

“I’m sorry,” he smiles a little, and hands her a napkin. “I’m saying, if someone likes you, make sure they also respect you.”

“How will I know?” Pearl asks, thinking of the Whitney Houston song.

“They’ll know you matter. They’ll treat you like it. Like your word matters to them. They’ll respect your hesitance, every single time.”

“Wow,” Pearl blinks. Then she sighs. “That’s the thing, though, Dad. I don’t think there are many guys like you left in the world…”

“Maybe not,” Dad allows. “But there’s fixing to be a woman like me real soon. You’re growing up. Right before my eyes. And so very well. I’m proud of you, baby. Real proud.”

“For almost going off with a Lothario,” Pearl maintains, embarrassed.

“Almost don’t count,” Dad reassures, squeezing her hand. “You called me. That was the responsible thing to do.”

“So, you’re not disappointed in me?” Pearl checks.

“Not in the least,” Dad reassures.

“But everybody at work’s gonna know by, like, tomorrow. That I’m the baby who called her Daddy to come get her…” Pearl wipes her eyes. “I’m never going to be as mature as everyone else, Dad.”

“I think knowing when you need help, and calling for it, that’s a mark of true maturity, right there. We all need help sometimes, sweetie. Reaching out for it is a truly brave thing, indeed. You can always call me.”

“Anytime?” Pearl asks.

“Anytime,” Dad confirms, and they clink their mugs together.


	7. The Wedding

**Winter, 2002:**

Life’s been different ever since Pearl graduated from high school back in ‘99. She’s done a couple years at community college and just transferred to University of Colorado - Boulder last fall.

It’s a half hour away. It might as well be half a world.

The house is unbearably empty without Pearl. Paris is firmly convinced that houses are not meant for just one person. The only thing keeping him afloat nowadays are his weekly letters from Nia. But last fall, even those stopped.

Thank God, Pearl’s home on winter break through the first week in January, or Paris doesn’t know what he’d do. They baked, Pearl helped him decorate the tree and they had a fine Christmas, just the two of them.

Pearl’s been sleeping late every day, and the only way to get her out of bed is to entice her with big breakfasts - and Paris only knows how to cook one thing. So it’s been a hell of a lot of sunrise biscuit sandwiches. Not that Pearl minds at all.

Paris has just returned home after dropping Pearl off at school, when he hears it. A knock at his door.

“I’m coming. I’m coming,” he grumbles.

He pushes the door open and he cannot believe his eyes.

“Well, I’ll be God-damned,” he says, breathless.

Because Nia Major is standing in front of him, in the flesh after five years apart. Paris doesn’t know the first thing to do. He gapes.

Nia’s impatient. “Nice to see you, too. Are you gonna invite me in?” 

“Of course. Yes, of course,” Paris nods, snapping out of his stupor.

“Is Pearl here?” Nia asks, craning her neck to look around.

“No, I just dropped her off back at school. She’s in her third year. Transferred to Boulder.”

“College,” Nia breathes. “I remember when she was so small. I can’t believe she’s in college already.”

“Time flies,” he confirms.

“Speaking of…” Nia says and it’s taking all of Paris’s concentration to listen to her and not just register how good she smells. “Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me?”

“Let me get my coat,” Paris says.

“Honey. You’re wearing it,” Nia points out, a gentle smile on her face.

“And so I am,” Paris says.

\--

“Please tell me you’re not just visiting,” Paris says, sipping coffee and enjoying a slice of fresh apple pie.

“No. I accepted a transfer here,” Nia reassures. “My job offered me an ultimatum: transfer here or they’d let me go. And since I can’t very well be without a job -- and since I can’t very well be without you --”

“Beg your pardon?” Paris asks, stunned. “You don’t write to me for four months and now you can’t live without me?”

“I didn’t want to say anything...in case it didn’t work out...and things were so busy with selling the house and figuring out how on earth I was gonna get Vader down here. But I am sorry. So sorry. I should’ve let you know I was fixing to get busy.”

Paris accepts her apology with a nod. “So, you still got the hellhound, do you?”

“He’s not a hellhound. He’s adorable,” Nia beams. 

Before Paris knows it, he’s stuck looking every single picture of her all-black scary as hell looking Great Dane that she’s taken in the last five years.

But, truth be told, there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

\--

“So, did you have coffee with Nia?” Pearl asks, a week later.

“Of course,” Paris answers. By now, she’s come to expect it.

“So...when are you going to pop the question?” Pearl asks.

“Excuse me?” Paris wonders.

“Ask her to marry you,” Pearl insists, impatient.

“Ain’t no way in hell I’m living with that dog,” Paris complains. “He’d be like living with a horse.”

“Dad. Come on. We both know you love dogs. And I’m not thirteen anymore. You can do this. I’ll be okay. I know you’ll have enough love for both of us. Right?” she checks.

“Yes,” Paris answers. “So...you’d be okay...if I asked her?”

“I’ve been wondering what you’re waiting for, honestly. It’s not like you guys are getting any younger,” she ribs.

“Hey now,” he exclaims, laughing. 

“I’m sorry,” Pearl says, contrite. “If you’re asking for my blessing, Dad. You have it. Listen, I have to go. Major night of studying ahead. Love you.”

“Love you,” Paris says and hangs up.

\--

Paris proposes at their coffee shop on Valentine’s Day, 2002. It’s a quick engagement - just six months - but Nia insists it can be done, and she just wants to hurry up and be married already.

Each month, they’ve got major wedding stuff to plan, not to mention finding a house. Both agreed that it’d feel best if they found somewhere new to start their lives together.

Inside of one month, they’ve found a house (while they're also determining their wedding budget and so on.) Each month holds another simultaneous to-do list. So that they pass in a blur. Before he knows it, it’s August 14th, and Nia’s walking down the aisle toward him. Her mother gives her away. Pearl is waiting at the front. She’s insisted on being Paris’s best man - “in the wider sense of the word.”

Paris’s mind is a blur, but he does his best to focus. To really take this in. This wedding planning has been so peaceful, compared to his first one. He wants to really enjoy himself. With Pearl at his side, each of the three take turns saying vows to one another. They’d planned it like this, knowing what they’re really making here is less a partnership and more a family. Pearl has even asked if Nia could adopt her, even though she’s grown.

Nia said yes. They have a date at the courthouse.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the minister invites, and Paris raises his eyebrows.

“May I?” Paris asks.

“Please, do,” Nia insists.

(They do. No details because Paris is a gentleman.)

Their song is Louis Armstrong’s  _ What a Wonderful World _ . Paris wishes their first dance could last forever.

This time, Paris feels truly ready. Ready to begin his life with Nia Major-West as a family with Pearl.

Their honeymoon to Lake Tahoe, California is everything Paris hoped. When he confides to Nia he never had a honeymoon the first time, she insists they make it count.

They close the door to their suite.

Put the chain on for a good measure.

And then, they make it count.


	8. The Announcement

**Fall, 2002:**

Nia gets the surprise of her life when a routine doctor visit reveals that she - at 50 years old - is pregnant. A blood test confirms it. She’s warned about the risks, proceeding at her age, but there is no doubt in Nia’s mind: she wants this baby. This one’s meant to be here. Nia can feel it.

That night, over dinner, she shares the news with Paris, who drops his fork back on his plate, stunned. Then, his face lights up, a grin spreading slowly over it.

“We’re havin’ a baby!” he hollers, getting up and spinning her around. “Oh, I love you so much. I love this baby,” he says, kissing her tenderly, and touching her belly, which has already begun to swell.

“There are risks, Paris,” Nia says, between kisses. 

“Damn the risks. Our baby’s as strong as an ox, alright?” Paris insists.

“Alright. So...we’ve got to tell Pearl…and I’ve got an idea. Tell me if you think it’s too corny.”

“Ain’t no such thing in this family as too corny,” Paris reassures.

A week later, when Pearl accepts an invitation to come home for dinner mid-week, despite being in her last year of college and swamped, Nia’s ready.

\--

Pearl walks into the house, taking a deep breath. Nia’s Mexican lasagna is baking and Pearl has had enough of meal plan food for a decade. She can hardly wait to dig in. And seeing Mom and Dad won’t be too shabby either.

It’s weird...kind of...to get to start all over, in a sense, with two parents. Her adoption by Nia was official in August as well, and though her name didn’t change, her heart did. Yes, she still feels a loyalty to Carla. Even an obligation toward her, but those things aren’t the same as love. As care. As fondness.

The new house is everything Pearl had ever imagined as a child. It’s always clean, bright, sun shining in all the windows. Pearl was nervous that since she technically lived in Boulder most of the year, that she might not have a space in this new life her parents built. But they surprised her, buying a two-bedroom.

“One for you, of course, and a guest room, for company,” Dad had explained. And Pearl had hugged him tightly.

Though she’s only slept a handful of nights in this new room, it really does feel like her own, with all of her personal touches. (Pearl’s beginning to think this is all a ploy by her dad, to get her to hang around home more. But she kinda loves him for it, too.)

“Come on in! Come in!” Mom invites, giving Pearl a big hug. “Thanks so much for coming. Just thought you could use some home cooking.”

“And to see you,” Pearl says, smiling shyly, giving Nia a quick kiss on the cheek. Affection like this still feels foreign when expressed toward a mother, but Nia has promised Pearl’s doing fine.

“Dad and Vader are watching TV,” Mom informs her.

“As if they’d be doing anything else,” Pearl grins.

“We heard that. Didn’t we, boy?” Dad asks Vader, who woofs playfully.

They finally sit down to eat and Pearl tucks into the delicious lasagna and garlic bread. Mom and Dad make pleasant conversation, and Pearl feels at ease. Like she can breathe here, and be fully herself. She doesn’t have to worry about being propositioned by guys just because she dared to eat somewhere public.

It’s such a relief.

After dinner, there’s walnut apple crisp and vanilla ice cream. “I’m seriously going to have to be rolled home,” Pearl laughs. “This is so delicious, but I’ve already put on my freshman fifteen…”

“You’re beautiful, honey,” Nia reassures.

“You have to say that,” Pearl laughs. “You’re my mom.” She goes still for a moment, stiffening at having said it out loud like that. Because if Carla ever heard her publicly declaring another woman as “Mom”? Well, Pearl would never hear the end of it.

But, the sky doesn’t fall. In fact, all that happens is Dad saying:

“That’s right. So, you can trust her judgment,” before he stabs another bite of crisp.

Pearl has coffee, knowing she’ll need the caffeine for the drive home and the hours of studying awaiting her. When she’s done with her cup and her dessert, she scrapes back her chair, regretful. Vader’s there, eager for any crumbs she might drop.

“Well, I really loved this and I appreciate the invitation so much, but I have tons of work to get done before fall break.”

“That’s fine,” Dad says. He gets up. “Let me take those. I think Nia’s got something for you.”

“Did the bank send my statement here again?” Pearl guesses. “I promise, I called and told them my college address, at least 14 thousand times…”

“It’s not mail,” Mom reassures. 

Dad comes back over and sits down as Mom reaches under her chair for a small purple gift bag.

Frantically, Pearl scours her mind. Has she forgotten a holiday? A birthday? An anniversary? But there is literally nothing that registers October 2nd as a significant date.

“What’s this?” Pearl asks, taking the bag hesitantly.

“It’s a surprise,” Mom urges. “Open it.”

Pearl slides a finger deftly along the edge of the bag, breaking the single piece of Scotch tape easily. She removes white tissue paper.

And it takes Pearl a full minute to register what she’s holding: a white tee shirt. The words:  **_Only Child_ ** are scribbled out with purple crayon...and in their place?

**_Big Sister_ **

**_Estimated Project Completion Date:_ **

**_June, 2003_ **

“Oh my God…” Pearl exclaims, softly. “Oh my God!” she bursts into a smile. “Seriously? You’re pregnant?” she asks Mom.

“Serious as a heart attack,” Dad says.

Pearl tosses the shirt aside and can’t hug Nia fast enough. “Oh, God. I’m so happy right now. So happy for you guys.”

“We found out last week,” Nia says. “Wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Thank you,” Pearl sobs. She goes to hug Dad, too. “This is too amazing. I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll learn together,” Mom reassures.

“We sure will,” Dad says, kissing her forehead.

\--

Truth be told, it all feels like a very long and awesome dream. But every time Pearl comes home on a break, Nia’s stomach is bigger and bigger. She’s nesting. Transforming that third bedroom into a nursery. Pearl can’t wait to help.

Dad’s painting away - a gender neutral gray and yellow - while Pearl and Mom spend time shopping for all the things the baby will need.

The best news of all comes in December, just says before Christmas.

“Wanna see a picture of your brother?” Dad asks super casually. And Pearl very nearly chokes on her soup.

“My what?” Pearl tries to breathe.

“We’re having a boy,” Nia beams.

“A boy!” Pearl crows happily. “Let me see… Oh, my God, he’s cute! Isn’t he cute?”

“The cutest,” Nia confirms.

Pearl’s positive there’s no way she can be any happier.

\--

“So...what do you think we oughta name him?” Paris asks. They’re in bed, it’s New Year’s Eve. Snow falling outside. Them, warm and cozy inside.

“Well, it just so happens, I’ve been doing some research,” Nia says. “And… What do you think of Levi?” she asks. “It means attached, or joined, and I just figured…”

Paris’s eyes light up, following her train of thought exactly: “He’s what happened when we all joined together as a family. Levi West.”

“Levi  _ Paris _ West,” Nia restates.

“Sounds perfect,” Paris says, and leans in to kiss her mouth, and then her belly. “Mommy and Daddy love you, Levi. See you real soon.”


	9. Sunrise

**2003:**

Pearl relaxes in the front passenger seat of the car with her sunrise biscuit, watching the actual sun peek over the horizon. Dad still does everything the same, even though she no longer believes he has the power to make the sun rise single-handedly. Pearl appreciates the effort, and the sameness.

“Twenty-one sunrises...I’ll be damned…” Dad says, once he’s urged today’s sun over the horizon.

Pearl’s insides sink a little. “Twenty, Dad,” she corrects.

“And I’m 50. Which means I ain’t senile,” he softens. “I know how old you are, honey. I took you to see the sunrise the morning after you were born, too. That’s 21 sunrises.”

“I was kinda hoping baby Levi and I could watch this sunrise together… Are they still planning to induce Mom today?” Pearl asks.

“They are. Do you mind? That he’ll share your birthday?” Dad asks.

“ _ Our _ birthday, now,” Pearl corrects, beaming. “No. Are you kidding? I love it.” She takes a sip of coffee from a thermos. Ever since she was fourteen, she’s turned down Dad’s offer to sweeten it with chocolate syrup. “Is Mom okay on her own today? Do you think we should head back? Just in case?” Pearl wonders.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Dad asks. “I’m happy to stay here and talk with you.”

“I know. But it’s not just us anymore, Dad. We have family. We should make sure Mom and Levi are okay.”

“You’ve grown into a fine young lady,” Dad says, wiping his eyes. “I love you so much, Pearl.”

“Do you love me enough to stop waking me up singing Stevie Wonder every birthday?” she asks, a spark of humor in her eyes.

“Absolutely not,” Dad cackles. “That right there is tradition. I gotta practice. Make it extra good for you and Levi…” and with that, he starts riffing horribly on  _ Happy Birthday _ by Stevie Wonder. Pearl joins in. 

Dad looks startled by this new development, but Pearl just raises an eyebrow. “What? I have to practice, too, don’t I? We want Levi to have a proper serenade…”

“Suppose you’re right,” Dad nods.

They keep driving toward home. Keep singing.

\--

Levi’s birth is anything but routine. Nia’s never actually done this before, but she’s doing absolutely everything in her power to avoid having a C-section. She knows the recovery would be more difficult than usual.

But in the end, there’s not much choice. Her body can’t handle the hours of laboring and neither can Levi. He’s starting to show evidence that the stress of labor is getting to him, too.

“Please...just let me try…” Nia begs. It might make her weak, but being cut wide open in front of God and everybody and being awake for it, sounds terrifying. “I can do this. I can have him.”

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” Paris swears.

“Me, too,” Pearl vows.

“Don’t y’all two dare look over my drapes,” Nia warns, tears leaking from her eyes. 

Paris kisses her gently on the forehead. “We’ll be right in,” he promises.

“I won’t look. I promise, Mom…” Pearl vows seriously as Nia’s wheeled into the OR.

Paris and Pearl arrive before they get started on all the surgical business. Each of them has a stool beside the other, right by her head.

It happens fast. 

  
Before she knows it, she catches a glimpse of the seven-pound human who’s been living inside her for the past ten months. Levi Paris. He’s sticky and quiet. But they get him crying. (Paris is crying. Pearl is crying. Nia’s crying. It’s just as well that Levi joins the club.)

Paris steps away to cut the cord.

Finally, Paris brings Levi so Nia can see him properly. Sets them cheek to cheek, so they can feel each other. Levi turns his head and slobbers on her face.

She kisses him back gently.

“Mommy loves you…” she whispers to him. “Yes, she sure does…”

She turns to her husband, knowing she’ll have to wait at least 20 minutes to hold her baby. And precious bonding time will be lost. 

“You gotta hold him now, Paris, skin-to-skin, so he can bond,” Nia insists.

Paris rushes to get out of the gown and settled in a chair, and unbuttons his shirt. Levi’s been cleaned off, and Paris settles him against his chest.

It feels right, somehow. And Levi settles right in, like he was meant to be right here.

\--

Paris holds Levi in the chair beside Nia’s bed while she recovers. He can’t do anything but stare. He’s absolutely taken by Levi’s beautiful face. His brown eyes. All his dark hair, just like Pearl had as a baby. (It’s hidden under a hat just now, but they all saw it.)

“Hi, son,” Paris greets. “Hello. I’m your daddy,” 

Levi whimpers a bit. 

“I know,” Paris answers sadly. “But I’m sorry. You’re stuck with me. Sorry, you didn’t get one of them cool dads.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Pearl whispers. “We got the best Dad...and the best Mom…”

Paris turns to kiss Pearl on the head. “Thank you, sweetie.”

Levi continues to fuss, and Paris talks to him: “I know. You had a tough day. You and Mommy. But we’re gonna take care of you.”

“Did you get to do this with me?” Pearl asks, in a hush.

“You bet, I did,” Paris whispers. “Held you in a chair just like this and the two of us bonded.”

“I remember the picture,” Pearl nods. “This is so cool. Oh, should I take one?” She whips out a disposable camera. She doesn’t have her own yet, and it’s more affordable to buy a throwaway and develop the film as she goes along.

Paris nods and Pearl steps away to capture the two of them. Paris smiles gently, glad Levi’s asleep, so the flash won’t hurt his eyes.

\--

Pearl is about ready to burst by the time Dad’s ready to part with Levi. She hands him gently to her. He’s warm, about the size of a loaf of bread, but heavy. It’s the strangest thing, looking into his perfect little face, knowing they’re related - family - but having never seen him before.

She makes an unintelligible noise - too much like Topanga on  _ Boy Meets World _ \- the first time she ever held a baby. Thankfully, nobody here now tells her to “put it back” like Cory.

In fact, Dad just grins and snaps a picture. Then, he starts to talk:

“Levi? This here is your sister, Pearl. She’s a good one. The best you’ll find. And together, Mommy, Daddy and Pearl? We’re gonna love you.”

“That’s right…” Pearl breathes. “Hi.” she says softly. “Happy birthday. I’ve never had a baby brother before...but you are pretty amazing. Yes, you are. And I promise to always love you. Maybe tomorrow, we can show you your first sunrise. You don’t have to look. It’ll hurt your eyes. But you can feel it. It’s nice and warm. And beautiful. Just like you.”

“Can one of you please bring my baby over here...before he forgets I’m his mother?” Mom gasps. Pearl can’t imagine the pain she’s in. Knows she’s not allowed to lift anything - including Levi, so she stands for as long as Mom wants, holding Levi so he and Mom can touch faces.

\--

The next morning, Levi and Nia are still hospitalized. Paris and Pearl both spent the night here in chairs. Levi’s brought in every few hours for a feeding, and as luck would have it, comes just before 5:30 for another. Paris is happy to feed him, and walks him to the window. 

“This is a brand new day, son. The sun’s gonna come up. Yes, it is. Watch Daddy...or just drink that bottle to beat the cars. Your choice,” Paris does a mini-version of making the sunrise. He can feel it when Pearl joins them at the window. “I love y’all,” Paris says, kissing them both soundly.

“We love you, too,” Pearl says.

They walk back to the bed after Levi’s eaten. Gets them both ready for a good hour of skin to skin time.

Pearl goes to get snacks and coffee from the waiting room.

Nia’s in pain, but getting through it.

They’ll all get through it.

\--

Pearl’s never been more glad to be done with college for the summer. She never wants to leave the house for any reason. She just wants to stare at Levi, all day, every day. She helps out a lot, and is glad to, even if it means taking care of Vader so that Dad care of Mom, and both of them can take care of Levi.

It’s the end of July before Mom’s feeling like herself again - and not in pain every time she moves. Pearl’s glad. She’s even getting used to being awakened at odd hours as Levi’s always up eating, it seems.

It’s so magical being an older sister, Pearl cannot imagine going back to school for another year. She can’t face the idea of all she’ll miss. Already at a month and a half old, Levi’s able to recognize familiar faces - and he’s beginning to smile at them, too.

“I’ll come home every weekend, I promise,” Pearl vows in early September, covering Levi in kisses. At almost three months old, he’s chubby and adorable. He’s constantly saying “aah” and “ooh,” and when Pearl plays with him, Levi loves it. He cries when playtime’s over.

“You focus on your studies,” Dad urges.

“Levi will be here,” Mom reassures, giving Pearl a kiss.

“Yes, but what if he forgets me,” Pearl asks seriously as Levi reaches for her face and grabs handfuls of her cheeks. She kisses his hands.

“You know we are not about to let that happen,” Mom promises. “Levi’s always gonna know you’re his sister.”

“Okay,” Pearl breathes. “I love you guys.”

“We love you. Now get out there and learn something,” Dad encourages.

It takes all of Pearl’s inner-strength to keep walking. 

To not look back.

To not run back into her family’s arms.


	10. Hagrid and Gracie

**2007:**

Pearl needn’t have worried. 

She was home more in her final year of college than ever before. Living half an hour from home meant she could pretty much come and go as she pleased - in the sense that she didn’t have to worry about an excruciatingly long drive time.

She’d graduated college in May, 2004, with an associate’s degree. Mom and Dad came to the ceremony and Lonnie babysat Levi back at home. 

Months passed and everybody but Dad became pretty concerned that Levi had yet to speak a word. Three months after his first birthday (and Pearl’s 21st), Levi barked when Dad came home from work, same as Vader. A couple of months later, his real first word followed. It was “puppy.” He definitely loved Vader - who defied expectation and managed to live until Levi was three years old.

The loss was hardest on Mom, of course, who had Vader since Pearl was ten. But they were all surprised to see how the loss of their beloved Great Dane affected Levi, who walked around with Vader’s toys and cuddled with his blanket. Constantly asked when Vader was coming back.

Post-graduation, she’s moved into the garage apartment, happy to still be able to be close by, should her family need her. This way, she has her own space, but she’s able to see what it’s like paying rent and being responsible for buying most of the things she might need living on her own.

Nearly a year after Vader’s death, it seems Mom might finally be ready to look into getting a new dog. Pearl’s been mentioning how much she’d love a dog of her own.

“Maybe we can go to the humane society and pick one out,” Pearl ventures over weekend breakfast with the family.

“Pick out what?” Levi asks. 

Dad exchanges glances with Mom. His eyebrows raise. She nods.

“That sounds like a fine idea,” Mom says, surprising Pearl.

“Excuse me?” Levi asks. “Pick out a  _ what _ are you saying?”

“Pearl? You wanna do the honors?” Mom asks.

“So, Levi. You know how it’s almost our birthday?” Pearl asks.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” he says, excited.

“So...Mom and Dad are wondering if we want to go to a special place where dogs don’t have families. And maybe pick out one to take home with us? What do you think about that idea?” she asks.

“Can we pick a Vader?” Levi wonders. “That’s the kind I want.”

“Well, Vader lived a good long life. Vader already had a home with us, right?” Dad asks.

Levi nods.

“So, what do you say, we see if there’s another doggie there who really needs a home?”

“Okay!” Levi answers.

\--

Levi walks into a ginormous cage room with so many loud barking dogs. He holds tight to Pearl’s hand. She picks him up and holds him close. They’ll pick out a dog together and go home. And the dog will have a new family.

But how will Levi know which doggie to pick?

‘Specially with no Vaders…

But Levi does notice a dog all tan with a brown face. He’s the size of a big giant dog. Levi puts his fingers out, careful, and it licks him. Levi giggles.

“This kind of dog is called an English Mastiff,” Pearl reads. “They get very big like Vader. “This says this dog’s name is Hagrid…” Pearl keeps going. She smiles. 

“Hagrid???” Levi giggles. “That’s a funny name.”

“I agree,” Pearl says. “It says he’s very friendly and loving toward his family. But...maybe not recommended for little kids, because he’s so big…” Pearl makes a sad face.

“I’m not little, though,” Levi insists. “I’m this many! Today!” he holds up four fingers, showing Pearl and Hagrid, so they can both see.

“You sure you don’t wanna look at smaller dogs, son?” Daddy asks.

“I wanted a Vader dog. I found a Vader dog,” Levi says, matter of fact.

“A big dog,” Mom says, understanding. “I see. Honey, what can we do? He wants a big dog?” She does a shrug at Daddy.

Daddy acts mad, only he isn’t really. “He’s definitely your son. You two and your love for giant beasts…” 

“Hagrid’s not a beast,” Levi objects. “He’s very loving and friendly.”

Daddy nods, and offers his arms. “So you want yourself a Hagrid, do you?”

“Yes, please,” Levi nods. 

“Alright, then.” Daddy says, and somebody lets Hagrid out of his cage.

\--

They’re on their way out when something catches Pearl’s eye. A beautiful Fox Red Labrador puppy. The information Pearl scans says that the dog’s name is Gracie. She’s good tempered and sweet. Loving. Friendly. And social. Pearl melts. She has always wanted a pet she can connect with.

Mom notices her looking at Gracie and stops.

“Honey? You wanna meet this one?” Mom asks.

“No. I mean, we already found Hagrid. That’s the dog Levi chose. I’m okay with that.”

“But you wanted your own dog, didn’t you?” Mom asks. “Excuse me?” she calls to an employee. “Can we see Gracie, please?”

“You don’t have to do this. I’m grown. I don’t need you and Dad buying me a dog," Pearl objects.

“Everybody needs a dog,” Mom says firmly.

Levi catches sight of what’s going on and comes over to investigate.

“Ooh, are we getting that one, too?” he asks.

“Yes, we sure are. One for you, and one for Pearl,” Mom says, surprising her.

“Really?” Pearl asks, shocked.

“Definitely,” Mom nods.

Dad grins. “Happy birthday, you two,” he says, giving them both kisses.

On the way home, the cars are full of dogs and so much joy.

And Pearl couldn’t be happier.


	11. The Funeral

**2012:**

Pearl’s been asking for a while now if Paris and Nia think she’s a disappointment. Still working at a grocery store and knitting on the side. But Nia assures her they do not, in any way, find her a disappointment. As long as she’s happy and can manage in the life she wants - that’s what matters.

Over the years, Levi, too, has been growing by leaps and bounds. He and Hagrid are “best buddies” but he says he still loves Vader the most. Nia knows the feeling. As happy and full as the house is now, with Hagrid’s huge self, Nia will always feel an ache and an empty space where Vader should have been.

When Pearl first starts out knitting, it’s because no one around here knows how to knit dog clothes, and once they decided as a family that they wanted to do an Ugly Sweater Christmas card, they all knew the dogs needed to be in on it, too. 

Pearl, it turned out, was an adept knitter. And fast! Lord, Nia didn’t know how she managed.

Soon everybody in Pearl’s store knew she knit and they all wanted her as their Secret Santa, so they could get something handmade. Her coworkers weren’t the only fans of Pearl’s work. 

At 5, 6 and 7 years old, Levi used to ask all the time if he could “walk to Pearl’s.” As the garage apartment was literally in the fenced in backyard, Nia said yes, and she’d watch him leave with a dollar bill and Hagrid by his side.

Pearl would pass along the story fondly. How Levi would knock at her door, calling inside that he “needed to place an order” because “Hagrid needs a scarf.” (Or maybe a hat. Or a sweater.)

Though she regularly charged more for her knitting, unless they were gifts, Pearl took Levi seriously and accepted his dollar and asked what color scarf Hagrid wanted.

Nia feels unbelievably lucky to have her children. Not to mention her husband.

It’s April Fool’s Day when Nia gets the call, so at first, she hopes to God it’s a joke. But no. Her beloved mother is gone. She hadn’t been sick, she was just old. She’d lived a good life, but that didn’t mean Nia wasn’t about to miss her.

They make plans to head back up north to Minnesota. It’s been a while since Paris and Pearl have been there. Levi never has. And Nia’s willing to let the kids be at home. Pearl can watch Levi for a day or two, if they’d rather. But both insist on coming.

Levi’s eight years old by now, and Pearl’s 28, both have a birthday just around the corner. Pearl’s a grown woman and can decide what she’d like to do, and she insists on coming. She’ll make it work.

That’s how they end up making the long drive together. Levi occupied with tons of Disney movies for the trip. Pearl journaling and sweetly checking in with Nia and Paris along the way.

“Are you guys okay? I can take a turn driving if you want a break,” Pearl offers.

“Oh, you’ll get a turn. Fourteen hours is a long drive,” Paris says.

\--

They’ve just laid Mom to rest. They’re foregoing the reception in favor of a restaurant. An old favorite. Mom’s favorite. The Barn.

Both Pearl and Levi cried at the funeral, and it encouraged Nia to see both expressing their feelings so freely. But she’s not so sure she’s ready for Levi’s whispered questions and requests as they make their way across the parking lot to the car:

“Why couldn’t we just bury Grandma Major in the yard next to Vader?” he asks asked.

“Because there are laws,” Paris explains. “People get buried in cemeteries so that it’s known they were loved and cared for. If a person gets buried outside in someone’s yard it usually means foul play.”

“Foul play?” Levi asks.

“He’s a little young for this conversation, Paris,” Nia advises.

“It means somebody did something bad to the person…” Pearl offers, blowing her nose loudly.

“Oh. I guess it’s okay she’s here. But Minnesota’s so far from us. And besides, I don’t wanna be inside a box when I’m dead.”

“Levi, honey…” Nia objects, wiping her eyes.

“What? I don’t. I won’t be able to breathe. And it’ll be dark in there. Can I request no box?”

“The box says this person was special to their family. And the person in it doesn’t need their body anymore. So, they don’t need to breathe air.” Pearl tries.

“Yes, I do…” Levi objects. “Daddy, how do I request no box? You’re old. You should know this stuff.”

“Excuse me?” Paris says. By now, they’re all in the car and Paris turns on the ignition. The radio’s playing a news update:

“ _Today, the house of horrors where three boys from California were kept is being demolished. None of the surviving boys are expected to attend--_ ”

Nia clicks it off.

“It’s called a casket,” Pearl explains. “It’s a nice, comfortable bed, kind of, with a lid for privacy. So no bugs can get in.”

“Ew…” Levi shudders. “Daddy. I want something else. What else do people get that’s not a casket.”

“I don’t think you’d like the alternative, son…” Paris warns.

“Oh, dear Lord…” Nia laughs in spite of herself. “Mom would just about lose her hat if she heard us talking right now.”

  
“What’s the alternative?” Levi asks, and before Nia can think to warn Pearl from explaining - their wonderful science-minded daughter is explaining cremation.

“It’s like a giant kiln. Where you guys baked your clay pots after you made them? Sometimes people would rather go there, and that way, their ashes can be saved and stay in the house of people who love them, or be put somewhere special outside. Like, by a nice tree…”

“Or in a yard?” Levi asks.

“Right,” Pearl nods.

“I want that, but I do not want the fire, okay Daddy? So, come put it out before they put me in, okay?” Levi asks.

“Honey, I’ll do whatever you need,” Dad promises. “Now, we’re here to eat. Let’s try to mind our Ps and Qs and not talk about caskets or cremations.”

“Can we talk about Grandma?” Levi asks. “Because I miss her.”

“I do, too,” Nia nods. “We can definitely talk about Grandma.”

Paris requests a booth so they can all sit close by each other. Nia orders pancakes and Pearl and Levi each get a ham and cheese omelet. Paris orders stuffed French toast. This is brunch. But Mom always did love breakfast here. And they’re paying homage to that.

They eat, laughing a little as they each try a bite of this or that from someone else’s plate.

“Are they gonna destroy Grandma’s house? Like the radio said about that one bad guy? Because I love Grandma’s house.”

“Me, too. If they do raze it… Do you know if it’s possible for us to keep the piece of wall where she measured us?” Pearl asks.

“Nobody’s razing the house,” Nia says firmly. “We’ll probably have to sell it, though. It’ll take a while to go through it.”

They small-talk their way through the rest of the meal, and Paris picks up the check.

They’re on their way out the door when they walk through a cloud of cigarette smoke and a female voice says:

“Pearl?”

\--

Chills race up Pearl’s back. She turns around and sees Carla, dressed in a uniform. The details click into place slowly. She’s a waitress _here_.

“God, it’s been so long…” Carla says, a smile frozen in place.

“Who’s that lady?” Levi asks.

“This is Miss Carla,” Paris introduced. “Pearl grew in Miss Carla’s tummy before Pearl was born.”

“And then Mom adopted her, right?” Levi asks.

“Right,” Pearl says weakly.

“Don’t be silly,” Carla says in a voice that’s too-polite. “ _I’m_ your mother, Pearl. Come give me a hug.”

But Pearl is rooted to the spot. She hasn’t let herself remember much but now memories are flooding back. Living in fear of saying the wrong thing. Being screamed at. Leaving in the middle of the night. Over the years, she’s questioned Dad about it some, and he made no bones about it - Carla was abusive and he was afraid of what she’d do to both of them if they stayed.

Dad snaps out of his stupor first. “We really oughta get going,” he says, taking Pearl gently by the elbow.

“Who’s this?” Carla asks, bending down to address Levi.

“I’m Levi, ma’am,” Levi introduces.

Pearl steps in front of him, protective, and deeply angry. “Don’t talk to him. Don’t say a word to him. We are going. I don’t want a hug. And I don’t miss you.”

“Oh! I see! You have your new family now so you can just forget about me?!” Carla exclaims, enraged.

Pearl turns and hurries Levi along, taking him by the hand. “Come on, Levi. Let’s go.”

\--

Once they’re in the car, Paris can finally breathe again. But he’s keeping an eye in the rearview mirror just in case Carla’s desperate enough to follow them.

He hears a sniffle behind him. Pearl.

“Honey, it’s not your fault,” Paris cautions. “We didn’t know she’d be there. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault either, Dad. I just...didn't think I’d ever see her again,” Pearl manages.

Nia’s beside him, digging in her purse for Kleenex to hand back to Pearl.

“Was Miss Carla mean to you?” Levi asks, stunned.

“Yes,” Pearl nodded. “When I was very little, she was. So Daddy waited one night until she was busy and then we were very quiet and left without her knowing.”

“And then you met Mom. And then me, right?” Levi cuddles up against Pearl, his head pillowed on her arm. “And we all lived happily ever after.”

“That’s exactly right…” Pearl manages, hugging her brother tight.


	12. Kidtopia

**2014:**

Pearl does not know how she - at 31 years old - has gotten talked into going on a family vacation, smack dab in the middle of winter, in Colorado!

“The least we could do is...I don’t know...travel somewhere? Somewhere warm? With trees…” Pearl grumbles.

“Keystone’s got trees,” Levi informs her. “Loads of them. Spruce and pine and birch and…” he lists. At 11 years old, his brain goes faster than his mouth can keep up. He’s already skipped one grade.

“I meant more like...palm...rainbow eucalyptus...banyan…” Pearl lists dreamily.

“Those are tropical trees. They don’t grow on a ski resort,” Levi points out.

“Right. I’m saying, I want to go somewhere tropical. Not somewhere an hour and a half from here, with even more snow than we have in Denver.”

“But Pearl…” Levi says, excited. “Are you forgetting about the magical place called Kidtopia?”

“I’ve never experienced Kidtopia before. Are there palm trees?” she jokes.

“No! Better!” Levi enthuses. “I looked it all up online. It’s good for kids 12 and under, and it has activities every day. And you get to have cookies every day, too.”

“I bet there’s cookies in Hawaii,” Pearl ventures.

“Oh, stop being so hangry,” Levi can’t keep the smile off his face. “It’s Kidtopia, Pearl. You can’t be grumpy there…”

“Yes, sir, she can,” Dad interjects. “You got the right to your feelings, Levi, and so does Pearl. Every feeling is okay--”

“--As long as we don’t hurt somebody else,” Levi finishes, knowing this Dad speech by heart. “But she’s hurting my joy with her bad mood…”

Mom smiles.

“I’m sorry. May I come to Kidtopia with you? See what it’s all about? Are 31-year-olds allowed?” Pearl asks ruefully.

“I think whole families are allowed,” Levi says brightly. “‘Cause they wouldn’t send the kids to Kidtopia all alone. That would be dangerous...and really cool!” Levi gushes. “Sorry. I have zero chill.”

“It is awfully hard to stay upset with you around, Levi,” Mom says from the front seat. “Even if I am partial to warmer climate myself,” she winks at Pearl from the passenger seat.

\--

Paris and Nia spend most of their time inside the resort. Neither one of them wants to fall and break anything. Neither one is an avid skier, but there’s no doubt this place is beautiful. Their room is beautiful. Everybody’s got their own room, and privacy, but they can all still be together.

“I still say we should take a family sleigh ride,” Paris maintains as they sip hot chocolate by the fire.

“I told you, I already checked!” Nia laughs. “They don’t do sleigh rides here. Levi’s sad enough he missed out on Santa, the Super Snowy Science and the Milkshake social. Can you imagine how upset he’d be if he thought he missed out on a sleigh ride?”

“What in the world are he and Pearl doing then?” Paris asks.

“It’s 4:00,” Nia says, checking her phone. “Cookie time, according to Levi’s schedule. He printed one out for us.”

“Of course he did,” Paris laughs. “I love that kid. And I love that Pearl went with him. She should enjoy herself. Do kid things.”

“That’s why they have each other,” Nia grins and squeezes his hand.

\--

Levi’s busy trying to figure out how to dunk a giant chocolate chip cookie into a glass of milk that’s too narrow. Whoever came up with the dimensions for this didn’t do a very good job measuring. He tries cramming the cookie in from the top again. Pearl’s finally in line for a cookie, after Levi convinced her it’s not rude for family members to have one, too.

Two more people approach at his table. One girl is a teenager, wearing her hair in tons of braids and also dressed in tons of layers. With her is a little girl in a wheelchair. The smaller girl also has tons of braids and a bright pink wheelchair.

“I want a cookie,” the little girl says.

“I’ll get you a cookie in a second. You want milk, too, right?” the teenager asks. She finds a really cool cup with two handles and a sipper at the top.

“Yeah,” the little girl says.

“That line is bonkers,” Pearl says, finally coming back with her own cookie and milk.

“Great,” the teenager says, even though Pearl wasn’t talking to her. She glances up, startled that she’s been overheard. “Sorry. I’m Dominique. This is Taylor. And I don’t want to leave her over here alone while I stand in line for a million years.”

“Hi,” Pearl says shaking their hands. “I’m Pearl, and this is my brother, Levi.” Pearl introduces.

“I can go,” Levi volunteers. “You need milk in this cup?” he asks Taylor, nodding at the cup in Dominique’s hand. (He’s grown up having kids in his class basically every single year who have disabilities. He’s used to talking to them and helping them and just treating them normal. It’s not hard.)

She nods, smiling big at him.

“And a cookie, right?” he checks, smiling back.

“Right!” she says.

\--

“Levi couldn’t stop raving about this place. He said I could come along and check it out,” Pearl shares. “I see you’re in the same boat with your little sister.”

“Yeah, our parents are out hitting the slopes as Dad says.” Dominique offers, bristling at her dad’s corniness.

“Ours are in the lodge,” Pearl maintains. 

“Taylor couldn’t stop talking about it either. Once Mom spilled the beans, forget it,” Dominique sends a smile Taylor’s way. 

Levi comes back with Taylor’s cup filled with milk and a cookie. He thankfully doesn’t comment when Dominique secures a pink bandana around Taylor’s neck while she eats.

“I can’t figure out how to get this whole cookie in my glass,” Levi complains.

“Break it,” Taylor encourages. 

“I know. But I don’t wanna break it. I wanna dunk it the way it is. How old are you?” Levi asks, distracted.

“Almost four,” Taylor says, proud. 

“Oh. I’m eleven. Pearl’s--” 

“YOU GUYS LOOK! A WHEELCHAIR!” a new voice pipes up (just in the nick of time before Levi outs her age to the room at large.)

Pearl watches Dominique stiffen.

Taylor, who probably hears remarks like this often, ignores the comment and drinks her milk.

But soon enough, they have company.

\--

“Hi! Do you have a disability?” a little girl around Taylor’s age asks.

“Francesca,” an older girl reprimands lightly. “At least introduce yourself first.”

“Why?” the little girl, Francesca, asks. “You just did it for me.” But at a look from the teenage girl and the guy with her, has Francesca sighing. “Fine. Hi. I’m Francesca. What’s your name?”

“Taylor,” Taylor says. “I’m almost four.”

“I’m almost five,” Francesca says importantly. “So, wheelchairs go fast, huh?”

“Yeah,” Taylor nods.

“Guess what? I have CP. That’s a disability,” Fran pipes up. “Do you got a disability?”

Taylor looks at Dominique, who whispers, “You can tell her you have CP, too, if you want to.”

“I have CP, too, if you want to,” Taylor repeats.

“Taylor has CP, too,” Dominique restates, suppressing a grin.

“This is my sister, Dominique,” Taylor introduces.

“These are my brother and sister, Jesus and Mariana. They’re sixteen,” Francesca passes along, getting comfortable.

“Me, too,” Dominique volunteers.

“I’m eleven,” Levi offers.

“And I’m ancient,” Pearl adds at the last second, with all eyes on her.

Everybody cracks up. 

They end up at the table long after Cookie Time is done. At least the teens and Pearl. Levi goes with Francesca and Taylor over to the toys.

“You look familiar,” Dominique says to Jesus, now that they’re the only people left in Kidtopia. 

Pearl studies Jesus even more closely. It feels like they’ve known each other for years.

“Now that she says that, you do look familiar,” Pearl concurs.

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Jesus mutters. He’s been quiet. Seems relieved that the noise has died down.

“Guys, come on… Can we not make it weird?” Mariana begs. “We just met two seconds ago. Let’s just...go play with Fran, Taylor and Levi.”

When they arrive, Levi is constructing a ramp for Taylor’s stuffed pig. 

“Why a ramp?” Pearl wonders, intrigued.

“Because...some disabilities are invisible. Like...Fran’s...and Porky Pig’s..” Levi shares.

“Ah,” Pearl nods.

The time passes too quickly, but each day, the seven of them meet up for Cookie Time and by the end of the week Fran and Taylor are inseparable. Dominique and Jesus have come to some sort of understanding. They have this deep connection that Pearl’s not altogether sure what it’s about. And she’s pretty sure that Levi has his very first crush...on Mariana.

There’s no doubt these kids are special - and Pearl doesn’t mean in that patronizing, euphemistic way. She means in a way that people just get each other. They’re all siblings taking care of siblings. And all of them seamlessly adopted each other over the week.

They save each other chairs in Kidtopia. Levi always goes up to fill Taylor’s cup, and Pearl’s able to be a listening ear for Jesus and Mariana (twins, it turns out, with a complicated home life.)

Levi loves looking out for Fran and Taylor. Learning teenage stuff from Jesus, and just being around Mariana for any length of time.

At the end of the week, there are honest to God tears. Fran and Taylor hug each other like it’s the last time they’ll see each other, even though Taylor and Dominique’s parents say they can definitely get their kids together - both families being from San Diego, and all.

Pearl, Levi, Jesus, Mariana and Dominique all exchange social media information, and promise to stay in touch.

As they drive away, tears track down Levi’s cheeks. “I really hope we stay friends forever, don’t you?” he asks.

And Pearl nods. “I really hope so, too.”


	13. UCSD

**2020:**

Over the next few years, Pearl and Levi have stayed in touch with the two groups of California-born siblings they met at Keystone. Even after Levi aged out of Kidtopia. Even after Jesus and Mariana stopped attending altogether in 2016.

They still made time for each other. Each summer, Pearl and Levi make the trip west (ha!) to visit them. They usually end up staying with Dominique and Taylor’s parents. As of their last visit in the summer of 2019, Mariana was home from college, Jesus was on a waiting list for his own apartment, and Dominique got a job at the local hospital as a receptionist. Fran had just finished third grade, and Taylor was enrolled in ESY (extended school year) now that she’d finished second grade.

Back in Colorado, Pearl’s busy with knitting and working. Levi’s always busy with school, having skipped yet another grade.

So none of them are expecting it when - seven months after seeing each other last - Pearl gets a desperate phone call from Jesus, after midnight:

“Pearl…” he says sounding soft...shocked. “Mariana. She crashed her car. It’s bad.”

“We’ll come this weekend,” she promises, not even thinking about it. It’s Thursday. That should give them enough time to find a flight and let Levi finish the week, without missing any extra school. “Keep me updated though.”

\--

Levi doesn’t expect it when he comes home from school Friday afternoon, to see Mom, Dad and Pearl lined up on the couch, with somber faces.

“What?” Levi asks warily. He knows these faces. He’s seen them before. When Vader died. Then Grandma. Then Hagrid and Gracie in consecutive months. He cuddles Panther, their newest addition. A tiny baby Great Dane (all black, like his memories of Vader) and waits.

“Honey,” Dad says, and Levi stiffens. It’s gotta be really bad if Dad’s starting with that. He clears his throat. “Your friend, Mariana… She was in a bad car accident early yesterday morning. She’s had some surgery on her head. But she’s still not awake yet.”

“What?” Levi asks. He can’t process this. He just saw Mariana. Just had to play it totally cool a couple weeks ago when she texted the group of them (except Fran and Taylor) excited about her Valentine’s Day date. 

Levi had felt deeply, righteously jealous. Everybody knew he’d had a crush on Mariana since she was his age and he was eleven. ...Everybody but Mariana, he guessed. He’d played it cool. Said he was happy for her.

He never heard how that date went. Never checked in to ask. (If he had, he might’ve gotten to talk to her one more time…)

What kind of friend was he?

“I got us plane tickets for tonight. We fly back Sunday so you can go to school Monday.” Pearl explains gently.

“I’m gonna go pack,” Levi says, breathless.

\--

Pearl and Levi arrive at UCSD and Pearl’s reassured to see Dominique behind the reception desk. She looks shaken, breaking her professional demeanor to come around the desk and hug Pearl, and squeeze Levi’s shoulder. But once that’s over, Dominique’s back behind her desk, composed again, as she directs them to the waiting room where they can find Mariana’s family.

They walk into a bustling scene. The waiting room is full of people, and everybody seems to be talking at once.

They’ve been so focused, they very nearly walk past Jesus, who is just outside in the hall, talking to Callie - another one of his sisters - a year or so older than he and Mariana.

“What? She did?” Jesus is saying softly. “What happened?” He glances up. Sees them. He hugs Levi, and then Pearl, hard. “Callie’s just telling me that Mari woke up. Just now.”

“Yeah,” Callie nods. “She um… It was really fast. I was just in there talking to her like I always do, and she opened her eyes. I asked her to squeeze my hand, and she did. That was it. There wasn’t time to get anyone...I’m sorry.”

“No, that’s fine,” Jesus insists, looking shocked. “I mean… Do Moms know, though?”

“Not yet,” Callie admits. “I figured Mariana would want you to know first...and that she wouldn’t mind you two overhearing,” she manages a shaky laugh.

“Well, we appreciate it,” Pearl nods as Callie leaves to brave the throng of people around their moms.

“Do they know what happened?” Levi asks. “How’d she have the accident?”

“It looks like she was coming home late from her job on campus and just...fell asleep. Hit a tree.”

Pearl winces. 

“Can you guys hang for a second? I wanna FaceTime Isaac and let him know. I promised to keep him in the loop, even though he’s not too big on traveling.”

Pearl and Levi wait together as Jesus gets his friend on video chat. By now Pearl’s aware of why exactly Jesus looked familiar way back in 2014. He and another missing boy had defied the odds and escaped the same kidnapper in the summer of 2010.

It’s not something he discusses much, except for with those who understand it.

“Hey Ike,” Jesus greets. “First, these are our friends, Levi and Pearl. Mariana and I met them like five years ago on vacation.”

Isaac is almost exactly Jesus and Mariana’s age. His eyes are an arresting blue-gray. But other than that and his freckles, he looks very ordinary.

“How’s Mariana?” Isaac asks.

“Callie just came and told me she opened her eyes,” Jesus shares. “So, that’s good news.”

“Listen, tell Mari if you talk to her...I know she was the only one that kept hope that you were alive for all those years...so tell her, I know she’s gonna make it, too. Tell her I said to stay alive. I’ll keep hoping for her.”

“Sounds good,” Jesus nods, wiping his eyes.

Pearl feels like a first-class eavesdropper witnessing this conversation, but Jesus doesn’t seem to mind.

For the first time, Pearl notices Levi, crouched down and talking to a beautiful dog. A large mix of some kind, though not as big as Vader or Hagrid.

“Sorry. This is Dudley. He’s my service dog,” Jesus introduces. “Thanks for not petting him, but he is still kinda working.”

“Oh,” Levi says, straightening.

“Okay, everyone?” Stef, one of Jesus and Mariana’s moms says, getting the group’s attention. “Lena and I will stay the night, but we want all of you to go home and get some rest.”

\--

Levi can’t deny that he’s disappointed not to have seen Mariana. He’s definitely glad she woke up. But the whole reason they came was to support her. To be here for her, and so far, they haven’t gotten to do that.

It’s a little strange staying at the Williamses. Strange in that Levi has the feeling he’s at home here almost instantly. Pearl has bunked in Dominique’s room, Fran in Taylor’s room and Levi’s on the couch. It helps that Fran and Taylor (now both nine years old, holy God) are around all the time, playing Barbies and laughing together.

They all still are keenly aware that Mariana’s in bad shape. They don’t forget that’s why they’re here. But it’s nice, too, to have the support of a ready-made family.

“Do you think Mariana’s gonna be okay?” Fran asks, as one of her Barbies.

“Definitely,” Taylor answers, as her own Barbie. “She already woke up and that’s a very good sign.”

“Okay. Thanks for that very important update,” Fran says, walking her Barbie away. 

Taylor’s Barbie leaves in a blue wheelchair, saying, “No problem,” Then, without warning, she starts to sing, while Dominique’s trying to encourage her to eat some breakfast. “She’s almost there,” Taylor sings. “Mari’s alllll-mooooost theeeeere!” she belts with a flourish.

“Wow,” Pearl says, impressed. “Where’d you learn to sing like that?”

Taylor jerks a thumb at Dominique and says absently, “My mom.”

By now, Levi and Pearl have learned the truth. Though Taylor’s being raised by Dominique’s parents, she was born to Dominique at a super young age. Levi can’t actually wrap his head around it. A kid, having a kid. Dominique must’ve been so scared.

But now, she just smiles. “Thanks, babe. Now. You want help eating your cereal? Or you wanna do it yourself?”

“Help,” Taylor decides, and Levi can see why. It’s tricky to get milk to stay on the spoon anyway, and he can imagine it would be that much harder if he was in a body where his muscles were getting overloaded with messages from his brain, every time he tried to move.

So Dominique casually feeds Taylor. Fran obsessively reads the text she got from Callie out loud for the table at large:

“Ahem! It says “Callie. (Colon.)  _ I know you’re in bed, and probably asleep, but guess what? Mariana just opened her eyes! It was fast but when I asked if she could squeeze my hand after, she did! This just happened, Frankie. Texting you, because I promised. Love you. _ And she sent it at 9:12 PM on Friday, March 6th.”

“That’s very informative,” Jaimie, Dominique’s mom says. “Michael and I can bring you to the hospital if you’d like to wait with your family, Francesca.”

“No offense?” Francesca says softly, “But I don’t like the hospital.”

“Why?” Taylor asks. “It’s just a place. I’m there all the time. Dominique works there, even.”

“Well, sometimes hospitals have bad memories attached for people. For you, I bet the hospital feels normal,” Dominique explains. “But maybe for Fran, it means a place where something scary happened.”

“I was born in that hospital,” Taylor pipes up. “It’s kinda like my home.”

Levi can see Michael blinking back some tears. “Okay. Let’s get a move on.” he says.

\--

Pearl walks back into the waiting room, surprised to see just Stef and Lena there. And an unfamiliar woman. She has dark hair, pulled back in a ponytail and is addressing them seriously. 

“I’d seriously caution against a website of this nature,” she’s saying. “It really has potential to damage trust between the three of you. I need you to not go forward with this. I need you to delete it."

Lena sighs and speaks to Brandon, who has just walked in. Then Brandon nods and clicks buttons on Lena's phone.

"There. Deleted," Lena says, defeated.

"Hey, you two," Stef greets, finally noticing Pearl and Levi.

The unfamiliar woman turns then, and smiles. Pearl feels instantly reassured.

“Hi. My name is Rosa Martinez. I’m an advocate from Nothing About Us Without Us, and I’m here to help Mariana through this."

Levi steps up solemnly and shakes Rosa's hand. "Thank you. For being here for her."

"It's my pleasure," Rosa says. "I'll be around. And I'll walk you back when you're ready to see her."

There are so many people going in and out of Mariana’s room so frequently that Pearl’s convinced she and Levi won’t get a turn. Rosa advises them to talk only a little, and softly. If they’ve come wearing fragrances to wash them off. Pearl complies. 

Before she knows it, she’s outside the room with Rosa. “And above all else?” Rosa advises softly. “Take her seriously. Listen to her. What she has to say may not make sense to you, but trust that she is trying to tell you something, if she’s trying to tell you something. Give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“Yes,” Pearl agrees, at the same time as Levi nods and said, “Yes, ma’am.”

They walk in and it’s dark. Mariana’s sleeping, but fitfully.

“Hey. It’s Pearl and Levi,” Pearl volunteers quietly. “You just rest.”

Mariana whimpers a little. In the dim light, Pearl can make out bruises. The massive scar on Mariana’s head.

Levi, at a complete loss for words, starts humming Beyonce’s  _ Halo _ gently. He holds her hand. Finally, Mariana settles.

After a moment or two, she opens her eyes.

“You…” she manages, hoarse.

“Me,” Levi grins back at her.

Pearl’s stunned as Mariana reaches up and wipes the tears from his cheek.

“Yeah, I’m a sap,” Levi admits, laughing. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.”

“Brain...water,” she manages, closing her eyes. The slight movement must’ve jarred her. Pearl easily pictures a storm-tossed sea.

“You’re dizzy?” Pearl deduces. “Take it easy.”

“We’ll be here,” Levi reassures.

“We love you,” Pearl adds, quiet.

“I...you...too…” Mariana manages, falling into sleep again.

\--

On Sunday, Levi can’t believe it’s time to leave in just a few hours. They get to the hospital as soon as possible. In time for hear Stef and Lena carrying on about all the people in the waiting room:

There’s the immediate family. Other siblings, Brandon, Callie, Jesus, Jude and Fran. Then the Williamses. Michael and Jaimie. Dom and Taylor. Pearl and Levi. And Isaac and his mom have come from Santa Barbara after all.

“I don’t want all these people here,” Lena complains. 

“Forgive me,” Michael speaks up softly. “But you need all these people here. Your family needs support. And I understand if you need it in less overwhelming ways. But all of these people love your daughter very much. Let’s not lose sight of that.”

Levi wanders over to Jesus and Isaac. “Hey,” he says, offering a fist for Ike to dap. He does. “You made it.”

“Yeah,” Isaac says. “Not a big fan of hospitals, but I am a big fan of supporting my bro. So…” he shrugs. “She’s doing better?”

“Yeah,” Levi nods. “I think.”

“Good,” Isaac nods.

“Yeah, it is,” Jesus nods. “I’m gonna go see if I can sit with her.”

Levi buys a bunch of crap from the waiting room vending machine, spoiling Fran and Taylor with junk food. He’s watching the time. They don’t have much of it left. They have to get to the airport in enough time to catch their flight home. (Levi can’t believe he has to go to school tomorrow. Feels like he’s aged a million years.)

Finally, just before they have to go, Dominique seems to realize that Levi and Pearl still haven’t gotten to say goodbye. She forfeits her turn.

Levi walks down the hall. Finds Rosa in the room. Enters at Rosa’s nod.

“Hey,” Pearl greets.

“Hey…” Mariana says back, exhausted. “Stay,” she says to Rosa.

“I’m not leaving,” Rosa reassures.

“So...we have to leave soon,” Pearl explains, regretful. “So, we wanted to come, say bye in person.”

Mariana’s eyes fill with tears. “Fuck that.”

Levi nods, blinking tears back. “Fuck that, indeed…” he manages. “We’ll come back, okay? We promise.”

“And we’ll stay in touch.” Pearl promises. “We have to go though.”

“Don’t,” Mariana says fiercely.

“Trust me, we don’t want to,” Levi says. “But we love you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Mariana manages, still crying. “Love you.”

\--

Pearl has never been prouder than when she, Mom and Dad all watch Levi graduate high school that June. By July, they’ve secured tickets and are headed back out to San Diego.

Mariana’s changed quite a bit the first time Pearl and Levi see her again. She’s lost weight. She’s pale and quiet. According to sporadic updates it’s hard for her to find the words she needs to say. Hard to filter the onslaught of sensory input that living in a house, going to the grocery store, or going outside might present. And it’s deeper than that. But Mariana's struggled to communicate exactly how.

They’re all in Rosa’s house. Fran and Taylor playing in another room. Pearl, Levi, Mari, Jesus, Dom and Rosa gathered in the living room. Rosa’s on one couch, eyes closed, a shirt flung across them for a good measure. Mariana’s mirroring her on an opposite couch. 

Jesus, Pearl, Levi and Dom all find places to sit on chairs or the floor.

“I feel...like I’m gone…” Mariana shares.

“How so?” Rosa asks, and Pearl takes note of how Rosa asks questions to help Mari with communication.

“Just...I’m different. My brain is different. So I’m different. Is that...normal?” she asks. “It’s been four months…”

“And for me...it’s been twenty years…” Rosa admits. “It is normal. To feel you’ve changed...because you have. The important thing is...to remember that people around you...the ones who really matter? They’ll love both. The Before-You and the After-You.”

\--

Levi’s finally managed to grab some time alone with Mari, once everybody scatters to other parts of the house, and Rosa gets up to get water.

“So...do you know I’m like, totally in love with you?” he asks, deciding not to beat around the bush.

“What?” Mariana asks, still lying on the couch with her eyes covered. “I hope...like hell...we’re alone right now…”

“Oh, we are,” Levi reassures.

“You mean were. You were in love with me? As a kid?” Mari presses.

“Were. And are. Both,” Levi says, calm.

“Nope,” Mariana denies.

“Why, nope?”

“Because...hot Mariana...hot  _ mess _ Mariana,” she says, gesturing away from herself, and then toward herself.

“May I take your hand?” he asks.

“Mm-hmm,” she nods and reaches for him.

Finds him. Holds on.

“I love you. Like Rosa said. All the versions. Because you...you’re the common denominator,” Levi tries to explain. 

“Can I tell you a thing?” she asks softly. 

“Anything,” he leans close.

“I’m glad my eyes are covered, because you...are so...amazing.”

“Oh. My.” Levi manages, smiling. His cheeks feel hot. 

They fall silent, but he stays, just being with Mari. Just holding her hand.

It’s all he’s ever wanted.


	14. Christmas

**2021:**

Paris doesn’t quite know what he and Nia agreed to when Pearl and Levi come to them and ask about the possibility of hosting their friends over Christmas weekend. Paris knows by now that community is a must. And he’s okay with the fact that his kids found theirs at a ski lodge and not in a church.

Everybody’s gotta find their own way in life: and that includes his kids.

It takes time to plan. (Pearl plans for months.) They agree to dial down the Christmas colors. (So, it’s the tan and navy ugly sweater with the _Home Alone_ quote this year.) Artificial trees which suit Paris just fine. He hates dealing with pine needles and worrying that any of their dogs over the years might eat them.

“Remember, we want lowkey,” Pearl reminds. “Jesus is not a fan of Christmas. And by that I mean, the holiday seriously freaks him out.”

“Don’t worry, I found a way to make sure all you kids get presents without it upsetting Jesus,” Nia winks. “I asked him about it, he said it sounded good.”

“And don’t be offended if Mariana’s not talkative or if she needs to go rest,” Levi adds.

“When am I offended by naps and quiet people?” Paris asks. “I love me some quiet people.”

“Too bad you had me, then,” Pearl laughs, putting her arms around Paris’s neck from behind. She’s wearing a godawful sweater without a hint of Christmas in it. Still the sight of it makes him proud.

“No, ma’am,” Paris argues, pulling her gently around so she can face him and holding her hands. “You were the very first best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much.”

“Aw, thanks Dad,” Pearl hugs him. When her chin is on his shoulder, she whispers. “We’re under the mistletoe right now. Awkward.”

“Ain’t that one of those Christmas things that might freak Jesus out?” Paris asks, reaching up for it.

“Oh, Dad. Thank you,” Pearl says hugging him again. “You’re the best.”

“I’ll take this,” Nia says, walking by and snatching the mistletoe from Paris. “In case we need it tonight.”

“Oh my God…” Levi calls, laughing. “Please do not talk like that when our friends get here. Taylor and Fran are children.”

“That reminds me! I sent Taylor and Fran pictures of the house,” Nia reassures. “So they can see what it’s like. We’ve got things pretty accessible already. But I wanna make sure everybody can get in and around safely.”

“I’ll help,” Levi volunteers.

“Me, too,” Pearl agrees.

“Thank you both for letting us do this. You know we don’t need anything else for Christmas, right? That this is more than enough?” Levi asks.

“I’m holding you to that, son,” Paris says, but when Levi looks back again, he winks.

\--

Pearl and Levi both drive to the airport to pick up their friends. 

As soon as Levi catches a glimpse of them, he’s off and running to meet them, his arms open. He slows down before he reaches Mariana, so he doesn’t bowl her over with his enthusiasm.

It’s a loud, bright cacophony of sounds, and Pearl and Levi know, thanks to Mariana and Rosa (who’s become one of Mari’s dearest friends) that the sooner they can get her out of all this noise, the better. Hugs are fast, put Pearl promises proper ones when they get home.

As agreed, Jesus and Mariana bypass the baggage claim with Fran. But Levi, Pearl, Dom and Taylor stay to pick up the bags.

On the way home, Pearl’s driving Jesus and Dominique. Levi has Mariana, Taylor and Fran. 

When they get in, Mariana goes immediately to Mom and Dad’s room, which she’ll share with Pearl and Dominique for the next couple of nights. She closes the door. Pearl knows there’s a pair of black and pink headphones (an early Christmas gift) waiting on the pillows for her to help deal with noise.

“Look at you! You’ve grown a foot!” Pearl exclaims hugging Francesca, whom she hasn’t seen since last July. It’s yet another reason why they prioritized Friendsmas this year. 

“I’m still the shortest in class, but I am taller than Taylor!” Fran exclaims, standing beside her friend.

“Let’s see,” Taylor says, and Dominique offers a hand while she stands up from her wheelchair to compare their heights. “Darn it! You are taller! But maybe it’s because I’m younger…” Taylor reasons.

“We’ve got gingerbread men to bake here. Jesus, is that alright with you, honey?” Mom calls.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jesus answers. Dudley’s at his side, behaving so nicely, while Cleo’s so excited by all the guests her whole rear end is shaking. Panther’s happy, too, but Levi has him well-trained and he sits and stays for long periods of time. And Roberta, Dominique’s old cat, has taken refuge behind Dad’s easy chair in the living room.

Dad goes around greeting everybody with a handshake or a hug or a kiss, whatever they’d rather. He has something genuinely kind to say about everyone, telling Jesus he’s so happy he came, Dominique that she’s really got a way with gingerbread, and he makes Taylor and Fran’s night by insisting they look like sisters.

“We do, I know,” Taylor says, proud. “Sometimes, I even say Fran  _ is _ my sister, for real.”

“I do, too. I love being your sister,” Fran says, giving Taylor a hug. 

(Fran, Jesus and Mariana are all wearing baseball-style shirts that say  _ Cookie-Baking Crew _ with little gingerbread people for the  _ i’s.  _ Dominique and Taylor have come in actual ugly sweaters, much to Dad’s delight. Dominique’s wearing a grey sweater with a sheep and the caption Fleece Navidad. While Taylor’s wearing her own grey sweater that reads  _ Santa! I Know Him!  _ with Buddy the Elf pictured beneath.)

Pearl and Levi have both made an effort to find yellow sweaters this year, since that’s a color Jesus enjoys. Pearl doesn’t feel like they’re catering to him, nearly as much as offering him comfort in a season that offers so many dark colors. So, her sweater is yellow and has a penguin and some skis and snow. While Levi found an entire yellow sweater with Pikachu on it.

\--

Levi is loving making cookies, but he misses Mariana. He knows she needs to rest after all the traveling she did. So Levi tries his best to enjoy baking with everyone. They finish the cookies and bake them. The house smells delicious.

While they wait, Taylor suggests watching _Frozen 2_ , but Fran says they should wait for Mariana. So, instead, Jesus introduces Dad to  _ The Great British Baking Show.  _ This turns out to be a universal hit. But it doesn’t take long for Taylor and Fran to start nodding off.

Levi knows it’s time to help get everybody settled. So they can be ready for tomorrow.

\--

Nia wakes up early on Christmas morning. It’s cozy in Pearl’s little apartment. And she and Paris definitely put the mistletoe to good use last night.

She preheats Pearl’s oven and gets the cinnamon rolls baking here, instead of waking up their house full of kids. Paris doesn’t mind the thought of waking anybody, so the second he’s up and dressed, he’s urging her to hurry so they can see the kids find their presents.

He’s just like a kid himself.

It’s one of a million reasons Nia loves him: somehow, he hasn’t lost his joy.

\--

Jesus wakes up first and finds a huge, yellow stocking propped next to his bed, with unwrapped stuff visible at the top. Each comes with its own note:  _ Gift for the holiday. No payment required. _

He finds toys for Dudley and a box of his favorite snack cakes with a note on the box that they’re from Isaac. He finds DVDs of  _ The Great British Baking Show  _ from Mari. Some silver sparkly putty just for squeezing from Fran. He still hasn’t reached the bottom yet.

\--

“Whoa!” Fran says, as she wakes up and sees the ginormous green stocking lying on the floor by her side of the air mattress. “Taylor, wake up! It’s Christmas!”

Taylor jump-scares awake. 

“Sorry. I figured you’d wanna be awake for this…” Fran urges. Taylor feels around for her glasses and finds them. Finally can focus on her huge pink stocking and all the presents inside it.

“New warm socks!” Taylor exclaims.

“Look! Dominique got me a camera that’s not a phone. Do you think it’s an antique?” Fran asks impressed.

“Maybe,” Taylor shrugs. She pulls out a cuddly turtle at the same time as Fran finds a sloth. “Ohhh.” 

“Yay!” Fran says.

\--

In the grown-ups room, as Pearl has deemed her parents’ room where she, Dominique and Mariana are sleeping. They’ve finally woken up and found...presents! Stockings full of them. Orange for her. Red for Mariana. Blue for Dominique. Her parents have managed to make sure everybody has things they need and that make them feel seen. Pearl finds an old Nestle hot chocolate tin, and she knows immediately, this is something Dad saved from their old house.

Mariana’s already put her headphones to good use. Inside her stocking she finds sunglasses, too. And a full notebook from Levi that he made Pearl swear up and down she would never read. Dominique, who, Pearl was sure owned every bit of Harry Potter merchandise gets a beautiful hardcover book. A shirt picturing the characters. 

“Aw. You guys, look! Mom made me a wand!” she says, flicking it tentatively.

“That’s so cool,” Mariana yawns.

\--

Levi wakes last and finds an amazing giant purple stocking next to his bed. If Panther saw who put it there, she’s not telling. On top, he finds a letter from Mariana. Panther’s got some new toys. Levi’s got some new clothes. And even a softer-than-he’s-ever-felt blanket.

He’s feeling a little lonely though, so he pops his head out the bedroom door and finds Dad in the kitchen, making biscuits. Mom’s brought in cinnamon rolls from somewhere. There’s coffee (with or without chocolate syrup), hot chocolate, and just about any kind of tea.)

Little Taylor is dealing with her urge to sing Christmas carols by adapting them in hilarious and heartwarming ways.

“ _ Joy to the world, my food is here _ ,” (when her breakfast appears.) Levi’s favorite part has to be when “ _ Francesca and Taylor sing _ ” as opposed to “and heaven and nature sing.” 

This eventually gives way to a rousing rendition of “ _ O Come All Ye Best Friends _ .”

_ “O come all ye best friends _

_ Joyful and triumphant _

_ O come ye, o come ye to Colorado _

_ Come and behold this _

_ Great big yummy breakfast _

_ O come let us enjoy this _

_ O come let us enjoy this _

_ O come let us enjoy this: _

_ All the friend time.” _

There’s actual applause for Taylor when she’s finished. Because when a ten-year-old can remake lyrics on the fly? That deserves some recognition.

\--

Pearl and Levi are crammed on the couch with all five of their best friends watching _Frozen 2_. (Now that Mariana’s awake to join them, of course.)

Mom’s taking pictures. Fran’s taking pictures. Dom’s taking pictures, but they all make sure to ask each other first. Jesus has taken to carrying around an extra _Do Not Disturb_ sign. He holds it up when he doesn’t feel like being photographed, and it doesn’t take long for Dominique and Mariana to follow suit, all apparently in favor of a nonverbal cue. They’re still asked specifically if they want to be. No pictures on the downlow.

Pearl tries not to smile as Levi and Mariana stand up around the same time, and make their way to one of the empty bedrooms for some quiet.

\--

“So, how are things going?” Levi asks as soon as they’re in his room, alone.

“I wanna kiss your face…” Mariana responds. “Like, so bad right now.”

“Well, go on…” Levi invites. “Kiss it.” He offers a cheek, but Mari goes right for his mouth. She kisses like she’s drinking him in. At one point, she even stops, holds his face between her hands and studies it seriously. Then, she nods and goes back to kissing. “Good?” she asks belatedly.

“Mmm-hmm,” he nods.

Eventually, Mari needs a break and they lie on Levi’s bed together. (On top of the covers. Fully clothed. Get your minds out of the gutter.)

“I really thought it,” Mariana admits, her tone awed.

“Really thought what?” Levi asks.

“That there was no way you could like me...you know...like this. No way anybody could,” Mariana admits.

“Well, I do. I told you I did,” Levi points out, coming up on an elbow to see her better. He gently touches her face.

She blushes. Waits several beats (maybe to find words) “I guess I just...had to see for myself.”

“And how’s the view?” he jokes, raising his eyebrows.

“Mmm,” Mari nods. “Seriously, though, I loved your thing. Your poem thing.”

“I loved your letter. So old-timey. I’m keeping it forever, you know,” Levi tells her.

“You know…” she hedges. “We could just...keep each other, and then we wouldn’t have to worry about keeping that stuff,” Mariana offers.

“Well, what if I wanted to do both? Keep the letter, and keep you here with me for however long you wanna stay--”

“--Forever,” Mariana says, sure.

“What if I wanna keep you and the letter forever?” Levi asks, smiling.

“I’d say…” and here, she trails off just looking at him with all the feeling and longing and love she has to offer.

“And I’d say…” he starts and then looks back at her, hoping to convey everything she communicated to him and more.

“Okay,” she says nodding. “Wanna take a nap with me?”

“Oh, my God, you just named my second-favorite thing to do on Christmas…” Levi insists, and she gets comfortable near him - no spooning. He gets comfortable near her. And together, they fall asleep.

And it’s everything Levi could have ever dreamed.

\--

Sunday morning comes too quickly. Pearl’s awakened at 10 AM by someone knocking. Jesus is at the door first, and Pearl’s more than a little startled to see Jesus’s friend, Isaac, and Mariana’s friend, Rosa on the steps.

“Are we too late to join the fun?” Rosa asks. “I brought sparkling cider.”

“And I brought...I don’t know, dude. I brought nothing,” Isaac says, turning his pockets out.

“Bro, you brought yourself. What are you even talking about? Get in here,” Jesus says, opening his arms. And then, he amends: “You know, if you want.”

Pearl swallows the lump in her throat as she watches Jesus and Isaac embracing.

She’s starting on the caramel rolls and coffee when Mom and Dad come in from the garage. “Hey, Mom, Dad, we have more company. Isaac, Rosa. These are my parents, Nia Major-West and Paris West.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rosa says.

“What the hell?” Mariana asks, opening the bedroom door, still in her PJs. “I thought I heard your voice! What are you doing here?!” she asks, breaking into a huge smile and coming to hug Rosa.

“I was in the neighborhood. Three Kings Day’s not ‘til January, and there is no way I was staying at my parents’ house until then.”

“No please don’t,” Mariana smiles.

“Are you making caramel rolls?” Isaac says, stepping up next to Pearl.

“I am, indeed. Are you a fan?” Pearl wonders.

“Of anything caramel. Anything Harry Potter. Oh and dogs,” Isaac answers.

“I think we’ve got you covered on all fronts. Dominique’s around here somewhere - she’s our resident Harry Potter fan. She’s also getting Fran into it. We have three dogs around here somewhere. Jesus has Dudley, I have the badly behaved pug, Cleo, and my brother and my parents share the giant Great Dane, Panther.”

Isaac just raises his eyebrows. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better?” 

“No,” Pearl reassures as Levi and Panther arrive in the kitchen.

“Hey! Isaac!” Levi greets, “You made it!”

“You really have a Great Dane? I thought Pearl was messing with me,” Isaac says bending down to pet Panther, who licks his face.

“Nope, we don’t do that here,” Pearl reassures. “Here, you want the first roll?” she asks Isaac and gives it to him.

\--

Their already busy house gets even busier with Rosa and Isaac’s arrival. Eleven people all crammed into Mom and Dad’s three-bedroom, one-story house. It’s a tight squeeze.

Isaac, Fran and Dominique sit in one corner discussing Harry Potter. Pearl and Jesus in another. Mom, Dad and Taylor in another.

It’s how Levi, Rosa and Mari find them all when they emerge from Mom and Dad’s room, where they spent a good hour talking about things that mattered. Understanding. Respect. Family, in the true sense.

Glancing at his phone, Levi knows he’s gonna have to leave soon.

Fran’s going around by now, snapping pictures of everyone who says she can. Dominique’s been doing the same the entire weekend. Levi’s glad. He’s gonna want some pictures to remember this weekend.

“Hey,” Mari nods to the piano.

“Hey, yeah,” Levi nods. He pulls over a wicker love seat with a back, instead of the piano bench so Mariana can join him there if she wants.

Since traditional Christmas songs are out - though Taylor keeps determinedly creating more - Levi begins to play something. He hopes the music will draw everyone together naturally. He never wants to force anybody to join in. It’s only special if they want to.

_ “The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top _

_ The snow is softly fallin' _

_ The air is still in the silence of my room _

_ I hear your voice softly callin'” _

Mariana has joined in, echoing him, as the song intends. Levi’s got music and lyrics on his tablet. Soon enough, Mom and Dad are there. Dad’s singing terrible, and off-key, but so full of love, and Mom’s, just beautiful as ever:

_ “If I could only have you near _

_ To breathe a sigh or two _

_ I would be happy just to hold the hands I love _

_ On this winter's night with you” _

Dominique and Isaac surprise Levi by sounding absolutely incredible together as they sing: 

_ “The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead _

_ My glass is almost empty _

_ I read again between the lines upon each page _

_ The words of love you sent me” _

Then Taylor and Fran come in, familiar now with the melody of the chorus. They stun Levi, by being really good, especially for ten and eleven year old kids:

_ “If I could know within my heart _

_ That you were lonely too _

_ I would be happy just to hold the hands I love _

_ On this winter's night with you” _

Levi about stops playing when Rosa sings the next verse as a solo. He almost falls over right there. Rosa has a voice.  _ The _ voice. The kind that could sing solos of any kind forever, indefinitely:

“ _ The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim _

_ The shades of night are liftin' _

_ The mornin' light steals across my windowpane _

_ Where webs of snow are driftin _ '”

And finally, Pearl and Jesus sing timidly from behind Levi. Pearl always says she can’t sing a lick. And Jesus has never sung at all. But they’re not bad. And their voices suit each other:

_ “If I could only have you near _

_ To breathe a sigh or two _

_ I would be happy just to hold the hands I love _

_ On this winter's night with you _

_ And to be once again with you” _

\--

Paris looks around at all the faces that surround the piano in their living room. In the din that follows (including little Fran asking knowingly:  _ “We meant that in a friend way, right? Friend-love?” _ and Taylor busting a gut giggling.)

Finally, he catches Pearl’s eye. She’s wiping a tear from her own, just as he is. And he wonders if they're not thinking the same thought right now…

That thirty-some years later, they’d be surrounded by love, music, and joy, and indeed living the greatest adventure there is.


End file.
